Troll Food, ’cause random strangers know your kid better than you do.

[Be sure to watch the video at the end. We all need to keep laughing. It’s important. We’d lose our minds otherwise.]
I know we really shouldn’t feed the trolls, but frankly I felt like I needed a link to post to them instead of my usual image which is:

So why not feed them a little knowledge. Not sure it’s possible with these idiots, but if I save one moron… well… Then there is only about 7 billion more to go.

Breakfast:

I woke up to this tweet this morning:

With my reply. Enjoy the typo. Hadn’t even had my morning coffee. if* not is, of course.

It doesn’t even matter to you trolling idiots that William Thompson actually admitted manipulating data to hide the MMR/Autism link in a press release through his lawyer. A lawyer who specializes in whistle blower cases.

First off, who says Snopes is the end-all of fucking everything?
Read this.
And “The Mikkelsons admit, however, that Snopes is only as reliable as the sources it cites, and they invite readers to look for the truth themselves.”
When you people use Snopes as  your argument you just prove our point –Most Americans are lazy and can’t be bothered to read for themselves.

Since you all appear to be too fucking lazy to read the press release, allow me to copy and paste for you.

“I regret that my coauthors and I omitted statistically significant information  in our 2004 article published in the journal Pediatrics. The omitted data suggested that African American males who received the MMR vaccine before age 36 months were at increased  risk for autism. Decisions were made regarding which findings to report after the data were collected, and I believe that the final study protocol was not followed.”

Is that simple enough for you? Hey Snopes, It’s NOT “Probably False” anymore. [Update: Now listed as ‘mixed’ on Snopes. Of course it’s funny that the ‘mix’ comes from them quoting that douche on ‘Science Blogs’ *eye roll*]
[Second UPDATE: It now reads FALSE. WTF are they smoking? –Read this iReport about it]
Wrap your head around the fact that his lawyer ALLOWED him to SAY that. While the Press Release does reek of ‘lawyered-up’ you have to see it for what it is –for what his lawyer actually allowed to be said. You realize what lawyers do right? Trust me, I once went to law school for a whole year and then dropped out. (Thanks Autism! –and trust me, you learn everything in the first year. The last two are just hazing and profit.)

Lunch:
I posted this picture to Anderson Cooper with a message that this was a Before and After MMR photo. To LOOK into my sons eyes. I get this reply:

Here is the photo I posted, you’ve seen it before:

Ok, twatrocket, let me explain something to you… 1. I know my kid is beautiful. He has my genes. I’m fucking smoking hot. Thanks. But, since you are not being sincere and mean this as a troll, I shall explain some more.

2. If you can’t see the OBVIOUS neurological deficits in this picture, let me break it down for you –as a portrait photographer (Yes, I’ve done every job at least once.) Every kid can have a bad day. But I could always get a kid to smile. Even my toughest customers. I once did a hand stand while making ape noises to get a kid to smile.
That picture on the left is my son at 15 months. He was an easy smile’r.  A couple days after that first photo he got his MMR and DTaP, we injected him with neurotoxins. The second photo was taken at 18 months of age. We worked hard just to get him to look at the camera. Just to look at us. He was more interested in that block in his hand. The block he kept flipping over and over and staring at. Hand stand, ape noises… Cookies as bribes… lots of tears. And that blank stare was the best one we got.

I looked over a lot of my snap shots from this time period. Before and After. Before? Lots of happy smiles and eye contact with the camera. AFTER? ALWAYS. ALWAYS the same fucking pose. The thumb in his mouth –he’d hook his thumb behind his front teeth to put pressure on the roof of his mouth. He wasn’t actually sucking his thumb. It’s a soothing pressure point. And he’d rub his nose with his finger. Again, soothing. Instinctual. At 18 he still does it. Often when we are out in public and the sensory stimulation is too much.

I put together a little collage last night:

Yes, his downward spiral began with the Hep B at birth. But he was still THERE. He still had language.  He’d still look you in the eye and smile, respond to you. But for a couple months after his 15 month shots, that bottom row… All the photos of him look the same. That is not an energetic, happy toddler. That is a sick child. Lacking energy, lacking language, lacking any sort of connection to his environment. That is a child suffering from an acute insult to his body and brain. Line this up with his MTHFR gene mutations and it all makes perfect sense. Google it trolls, I am not doing any more fucking homework for you.

I have videos too. They are too hard to watch. Before and After. Maybe someday.

Dinner:

I am college educated with a genius IQ (just bragging). I am not an idiot. (Don’t let my typo’s fool you). But they duped me. They did. [Yes, I know typo’s is a typo. It’s funny. Trust me.]

I am one of the most skeptical people in the world. Yet, I can admit, I was once brain washed by the Church of Science. I believed what Doctors told me, because they went to school after all. I was you–the mere “Useful Idiot Troll”. I believed that the CDC and FDA really did work for the people. But then I decided to read for myself instead of believing what authority figures told me. Guess what? They work for profit, not for the people. Vaccines do injure. More than the 1-in-a-million that they love to throw at you. It’s biologically plausible and probable. It’s OK that you were duped. It happens. Please read a book or two on your own. Now, if you are a troll-for-hire getting paid to do this… well… I refer you to the first photo in this post.

If you are waiting for the mainstream media to cover this, like one person told me, then you really have no idea how this world works. Hint: Money.

The information is out there for you. Just waiting to be read. You DON’T need some pretty face behind a news desk to tell you what to believe.

Take a LOLZ break. Image from the hilarious Liam Scheff. You can also find him on FaceBook here.

SNACKS:

For those of you who look at a photo of my child and tell me “what’s what” –tell me that I don’t know what happened to my own child. Even though MEDICAL doctors have since looked over his records and told me that YES, he most likely DID suffer encephalitis with his first Hep B. Those of you who STILL want to tell me that you know my child better than I do, better than his doctors do:

And the rest of you…
–‘Vaccines don’t cause Autism, they took the mercury out of the MMR! And besides Dr. Wakefield lied!’

–‘Vaccines don’t cause autism, they studied that and they are safe.’

HINT: The current vaccine schedule has NEVER been tested.

And as a general ‘last word’ to any other fucking stupid thing you manage to say… (I actually saw one write, “If this proves to be true, those crazy anti-vaxxers will have to admit that this study means it only related to an increase in black boys and not everyone.” *facepalm* DO THEY LISTEN TO THEMSELVES??) Anyway, in general:

Enjoy:

Meet the Douchebags, Julie Gerberding. aka Cruella de Vil

“I lie for profit. Fuck your stupid kids, anyway” –not an actual quote, but pretty sure she’s thought it.

Every time I see a photo of her smiling… I just want to smack the smile right off her face.

So who’s Julie?

She’s the former director of the CDC!

“Dr. Gerberding led the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) as director from 2002 to 2009. During her tenure at CDC, Dr. Gerberding led the agency during more than 40 emergency response initiatives for health crises including anthrax bioterrorism, food-borne disease outbreaks, and natural disasters, and advised governments around the world on urgent public health issues such as SARS, AIDS, and obesity.”

Funny… because the autism epidemic was hitting the fan hard then and she did absolutely nothing to address that during her tenure –um… well, unless you count making sure more kids became autistic from adding more and more vaccines to the schedule. Vaccines that she knew were linked with a raise in autism risk.

Then there was the Hannah Poling case.  The govt compensated the family without really debating the evidence. They “conceded” the case.  Her dad is a neurologist and had his ducks in a row and the govt knew they’d lose, and it would open the flood gates if they ruled on the evidence –so they quietly and quickly settled. The CDC tried to spin it by saying Hannah had a rare underlying mitochondrial disorder.

“But there are circumstances that make Hannah’s case a bit unusual. For one thing, she received an unusually large number of vaccines in 2000 (when thimerosal was still in use). Because of a series of ear infections, Hannah had fallen behind in the vaccine schedule, so in a single day she was given five inoculations covering a total of nine diseases: measles, mumps, rubella, polio, varicella, diphtheria, pertussis, tetanus, and Haemophilus influenzae.”

First, getting the MMR, DTaP and Hib in one day is common place. That is bad, it’s too many…. But not an “unusually large number”. Kids often get more than that in one day.  And in 2000 that was common. My kid got the same amount of mercury, in the same ‘unusual’ doses as Hannah. They all did back then.
Also, notice the ear infection bit? Yeah. ALL OUR KIDS HAVE THE SAME EFFIN MEDICAL HISTORY LEADING UP TO THIS MMR REGRESSION. Ask any autism mom. Reflux, eczema, allergies, chronic ear infections –all gut/immune/neuro issues. *RED FLAG*

So onto that “rare mito disorder”

Another confounding issue in Hannah’s case is the finding that she suffers from a mitochondrial disorder — a dysfunction in basic cell metabolism.

Haaaaaaaaaaaave you met MTHFR?

The one doctor in the Time article is puzzled?  If you’re puzzled you aren’t paying attention. Our kids are full of genetic flaws that mess up many of the basic cellular metabolic processes.  They can’t detox. They can’t handle heavy metals. They can’t get the same nutrition from the same food a non-MTHFR person can. OR if they can, they can’t process it right.
(Side note: My youngest child has worse MTHFR and DETOX profile mutations than his autistic brother. But he doesn’t have autism. The difference? I didn’t vaccinate my youngest. He’s 10. And still alive. And healthy. LIKE…. CRAZY HEALTHY. LIKE……. ‘UNLIKE any vaccinated child’ healthy. Liiike ‘has an actual, working immune system’ healthy. Liiiiiiiiiiike ‘we all got swine flu in ’09 and Gavin and I were in bed, sick as hell for 8 days and the unvaccinated child, who was 5, was sick for 2 days’ healthy.)

MTHFR is not uncommon at all in kids with autism. Cell metabolism disorders are COMMON in all kids with autism.
But JULIE goes on CNN to give it the “rare” spin. And by the way, at this point she is fully aware that we all call her Cruella.

You can clearly see why… 😉

The first thing I noticed when she went on CNN was how soft and pretty she looked that day.  She dyed her hair to even out the grey, got a cut, wore a pink suit and spoke softly (keep in mind, as she is saying this shit she knew full well of the cover up inside the CDC over the MMR/Autism link.)

Pretty in Pink

Before you watch the video below you need to understand that “autism” is NOT a THING in and of itself. It is a collection of symptoms. If you have the symptoms… you HAVE autism.
In this case they started saying the phrase “autism-like symptoms” as spin.  They were actually saying that the vaccines didn’t cause autism, they caused a fever…. which caused autism-like symptoms. Chew on that a minute.

–I’ll stop with my commentary because the video does a nice job of tossing up everything I would say in rebuttal. It’s ten minutes, but I think you can spare it.

And I say again… NOW WE KNOW that she was just flat out lying during this interview.

So where did Julie go in 2009 after leaving the CDC?

Crazy, right?

Yep, she took a job as President of the Vaccine Division at Merck –the same company that makes the MMR vaccine, and MOST of the vaccines for kids and adults, that are on the CDC recommended vaccine schedule. Read this vomit about her too.

So, in summary, Julie KNEW MMR was linked to autism (The whistle blower, William Thompson, sent her a memo about coming clean before the 2004 IOM meeting on the issue). There is no way she didn’t know that cellular metabolism disorders were common in kids with autism. She lied for money. She didn’t give a shit about your kids and now she collects a fat paycheck, working for the company she lied to protect while working as a public servant, on your tax dime, under the guise of pubic health.
Julie, congrats on being my FIRST Featured Profile on “Meet the Douchebags”.
I look forward to her ass being sent to prison… and gosh, she’s so pretty… she’ll make someone a nice bitch, won’t she?

Autism Scrub Bucket Challenge

This ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, gave me an idea for one for Autism.

For the Autism Scrub Bucket Challenge you grab your scrub bucket, gloves and non-toxic cleaning supplies and go to the home of someone with an autistic child who fecal smears and you help scrub their walls and floors… and furniture… and light fixtures.

When you are done, Never EVER say, “I don’t know how you do it!” No!!! Replace that thought with the act of giving them a $50 on your way out the door. Post your videos!! I nominate ALL OF YOU.
#AutismScrubBucketChallenge

UPDATE: So, I have been getting serious inquires from people about this and a lot of hits on it from search engines. I did this a bit tongue-in-cheek –I have a twisted sense of humor. That doesn’t mean you can’t do it 🙂 Find a family to help. Clean or babysit or slip them some cash. Trust me… none of us ever have enough money. If you want to donate to an org, give to The Nation Autism Association. THEY HELP REAL PEOPLE. DON’T GIVE TO Autism Speaks.

 

Only a mom, in a funny red sheet.

Another child with autism has wandered to their death –death by drowning.

[It’s now official. The body of the child found was Leo.]

The mom last saw the child at 4 a.m. She fell asleep. For 15 minutes. Sometimes, that’s all it takes. Sometimes kids in houses locked down with better security than Fort Knox get out.

I beat this into the ground, I know… but the autism you see portrayed in the media is not reality for many of us.  That is why “autism” is not given the attention it ought to be given.

The autism parents I know are superhuman –but even super-humans need to sleep once in a while. On lack of sleep we don’t function very well. Imagine years of lack of sleep. Add on a heaping pile of adrenal fatigue from our 24/7 fight or flight/red alert world. The world we survive in because we know, that at any second, the shit could hit the fan.

The stress and lack of sleep have a lovely downward-spiral way about them… once you are in that cycle it just gets worse. I am so disorganized at this point in my life that every day gets harder and harder. It’s damn near impossible to think about what I am going to be doing five minutes from now.

I know I am not the only autism parent in the world who’s slid the couch in front of the door to catch a nap. Our kids by their very nature don’t sleep well. So we don’t sleep well. I can remember when my son went through a phase of waking me up by screaming several times a night (all because his sheets came untucked at the bottom. Thank the Dogs for XL twin beds for giants).  My life has gotten a little better because, for the moment, we are sleeping better. But the connections in my brain are still there. One scream from him derails my whole day. Brings it all back.

By the way, we are sleeping better because I let him drop out of school and adjust to his own sleep schedule which is about 3 a.m. to noon for him. That is not really a good solution, is it? It’s survival, but it means that I get no free time now.

We are hyper-vigilant. We don’t relax.

Yet, we are mere mortals.

A couple months ago my son sprained his ankle pretty bad out in the yard.  It took me a while to realize what really happened, as his language skills are that of a two year old at best.  He fell. He fell trying to climb over our 6 foot privacy fence into the neighbors yard because he is obsessed with their pool.  I put in a nice sized above ground pool for him –but theirs… Oh, theirs is a nice in-ground pool surrounded by a screened in lanai.

Have you ever been thankful that your kid got hurt? Welcome to autism-land!  I WAS.  Because the pain of that sprained ankle means he won’t try that again.

About a month later we got home while the lawn was being mowed. Gavin went out back immediately. I started to walk down the hall to the bathroom… I heard the neighbors dog begin to bark in an unusual way. A red flag. My foggy brain made the connection –the gate to the fence was unlocked while the grass was being mowed. I turned and ran and got outside just in time to see the neighbor looking confused and agitated (we’re new here, hadn’t met them yet) and my son trying to break into their lanai.

What if? What if I hadn’t heard the dog and spent a couple minutes back the hall in my bathroom before I realized what had happened?  What if Gavin (17 years old, 6 foot 1, complete with mustache, freakishly strong and scary –if you don’t realize what autism is) had a meltdown when she told him to leave…What if the neighbors felt threatened?  What if they shot him?

What if?

What if an exhausted mom who very likely hasn’t slept good in years falls asleep for 15 minutes. Her kid drowns, that’s ‘what if’. And she now has to live with that for the rest of her life.

When these cases –and I lost track of how many this summer so far… 15 maybe? 20? were brought up to the IACC one of the adults with Asperger’s on that committee suggested arm floaties.
Can you see part of the reasons behind my frustration?

The squeaky wheels getting the gov’t appointments on these committees do not have the same “autism” that my son has. And businesses like Chili’s who canceled a fundraiser for AWAARE –one that would have raised money to help prevent wandering deaths, cave to the bull shit spewed at them from the crowd of people who think autism is a GIFT.

Come spend a week with me and see what autism really is. Bring your own vodka because I don’t have enough to share.

And if there is autism in your neighborhood, go knock on their door and get to know them and their kids and offer to babysit so mom can take a freaking nap or get out of the house for a couple hours to clear her head. And don’t take offense when we turn down your offer because you just don’t know our kid well enough to take on the role of babysitter for a couple hours.

To the hundreds of moms and dads who’ve lost their kids to autism because they fell asleep, because they took a minute to go to the bathroom, or do the laundry, or tend to their other child for 30 seconds –because they had a human moment… All I can give you is the promise that I will keep screaming and trying to be heard.