Your ignorance doesn’t make it less true. #CDCWhistleBlower

I would like to address some of the current #CDCWhistleBlower blips that I am seeing pop up in the news and social media and blogs.

1. “The whistle blower said his words were taken out of context.”
Where exactly did he say that? How do you get that from this:

I have had many discussions  with Dr. Brian Hooker over the last 10 months regarding studies  the CDC has carried out regarding vaccines and neurodevelopmental outcomes including autism spectrum disorders. I share his belief that CDC decision-making and analyses should be transparent. I was not, however, aware that he was recording any of our conversations, nor was I given any choice regarding whether  my name would be made public or my voice would be put on the Internet.

He admitted that it’s his voice in those audios. In no statement has he said that his words were taken out of context, nor does he claim that Brian is editing his statements in any false or manipulative fashion. Instead, he owns his comments. Comments where he expresses regret, remorse, puts forth the biological plausibility of thimerosal causing tics (which is common in autism), says he wouldn’t let his pregnant wife get a thimerosal containing shot, talks of omitting statistically significant data in MORE THAN ONE STUDY, NOT JUST in black babies… etc.

Being recorded without your knowledge doesn’t make your comments ‘out of context” or any less true.

2. “#CDCWhistleBlower”
The hash tag itself.
I’m a bit peeved over this one.  When we, those who want justice for our vaccine injured kids and want susceptible populations identified, open our mouths –we have to be fully informed on a situation because the opposition, those who don’t give a shit about susceptible kids and deny my child’s brain damage even though they’ve never met him, will latch onto any misstep and use it against us.

I am a peeved, because on August 18th I took to twitter using #CDCWhistleBlower –firsties. My Bad. I used that tag because the information was put out to us that we had a whistle blower. Yes, he’s since gone forward and hired a whistle blower attorney… but on Aug 18th, he was not a Whistle Blower. He was a top CDC scientist who did a bad, bad thing and in an effort to sleep at night, confessed to Brian Hooker. I wish the headline would have been “CDC Scientists Admits Fraud”  It would have been one less thing to use against this campaign. But it’s out there now. Whatever.

However, no matter what Thompson ended up “being”,  doesn’t make his statements any less true.

3. Hooker’s Paper Has been retracted.
That old dress?
Sure, it has*, but it’s still online for you to view and you can see for yourself that CDC Scientist William Thompson is right. Do the math for yourself if it makes you happy.
*The paper is still there but there is a retraction article attached to it.

Retracting a study because some pharma shills cried, doesn’t make it any less true.

4. Vaccines are safe.
Those with the biggest hard-ons for vaccines go one step further than the manufacturers themselves. They claim vaccines are safe and they mock people who claim their children were injured by vaccines. (Even the manufacturers admit vaccine injury is very real, why not? It’s not like they can be sued!)
So how come almost 3 Billion has been paid out of the extremely-tough-to-win “vaccine court”?

Vaccine Injury is real. Just because you can’t read, don’t understand anatomy/physiology/biochemistry AND you are a #DoochBag doesn’t make that any less true.

5. Vaccines don’t cause autism. It’s been proven.
a. There has not been ONE STUDY that looks at vaccinated vs. unvaccinated kids. First they claimed it was unethical to do so, to ask some to skip vaccines. We pointed out that there are plenty of us who don’t and a record review could be done, ethically.  The CDC then fired back saying the results wouldn’t give us the full story because parents who don’t vaccinate are also likely to do other things, like eat organic.  Well, guess what, my 10 year old could figure out a way to design this study in about 30 minutes.  GET IT DONE.

Your refusal to do a study, doesn’t mean it’s been done.

b. Vaccines are not studied against placebos. They are looked at for safety vs. other vaccines ‘accepted as safe’. Again, they throw the “unethical” argument at us. “Since vaccines are KNOWN to be safe and effective, it’s unethical to give a control group a placebo and keep them away from life saving vaccines!” *eye brow up*
This is like testing Coke’s affect on blood sugar by comparing it to Pepsi, and then calling it safe for diabetics to drink because Pepsi said they are ‘accepted as safe’ for diabetics, and the effect on people between Coke and Pepsi was the same. Yeah. Stupid.

Your refusal to do a proper study, doesn’t mean it’s been done.

c. There has been no study looking at the WHOLE schedule as it is given.  One 800 mg Motrin, Meh. Eight at once…. not so Meh. Quantity matters. We should look at that.

Your refusal to study the sum effect of the mass vaccination program, doesn’t mean it’s been done.

6. Well, my kid got vaccines and is fine!

Awesome! I am very happy for you.  Mine isn’t.

My child with vaccine induced brain damage grew up along side my friend’s boy, who is typical,  getting most of their shots from the same lots.  My friend and I were pregnant at the same time. We ate the same, lived in the same environment, did most things together. The difference between Gavin and my friends boy? DNA. I believe in a genetic component to autism. But there is no such thing as a genetic epidemic.  GENES are NOT your destiny. Genes MUST BE turned off and on. Mutations cause one body to not function properly where another will.

Thousands of us watched our kids regress and get ill immediately after vaccination. This is a  HUGE collection of anecdotal evidence that deserves PROPER study, AND IS, by the way, the first step in the scientific method.  Observation.

Just because something didn’t happen to YOU, doesn’t mean it can’t happen to ME.

Vaccine injury is REAL. SOME KIDS are regressing and becoming very medically ill after shots. Shouldn’t we care to find out why?  The CDC’s omissions and lies have cost us 15 years of trying to figure out WHY.

EVEN if it’s not vaccines (it is), it is SOMETHING (vaccines), and we owe it to the human race to study it and figure out.

Want to keep your vaccine program intact and keep your herd immunity (which is a myth)? Find out which kids are susceptible. Start with looking at kids with methylation cycle SNPs. THESE ARE VERY COMMON IN AUTISM! Our kids aren’t making energy properly. They are not breaking down and processing nutrients properly. They are not detoxing properly. And before you try to say that that is the answer alone, again: genes need to be triggered, and I know plenty of siblings with mutations and NO autism (they were NOT VACCINATED).

JUST because you don’t understand something, doesn’t mean other people don’t.

7. You don’t know Autism.
Autism is the sum of it’s parts.

I say again… “Autism” is NOT one thing. This might be why it’s so hard for the average person to understand that vaccines can cause autism.
It IS biologically plausible.
Autism is a label, that is slapped on a box, that contains a list of “features or symptoms”

Those “features” (like tics, for example, which CDC Scientist William Thompson believes and states are linked to thimerosal exposure, also saying, ““There is biologic plausibility right now to say that thimerosal causes autism-like features.”) and symptoms ARE found on the table of injuries that ARE compensatable vaccine injuries under the NVICP.

Speech and Language issues? Hey! I went to college for that! I remember one class discussion about apraxia in kids. The professor said it’s controversial because, in adults, apraxia is caused by brain injury… and when it presents in kids there is no brain injury.
Vaccines cause encephalopathies. This is a well know, admitted and compensatable vaccine induced BRAIN injury. Hello?

Your ignorance as to what autism is, and what the symptoms and features are and how they may, biologically, be induced… does not make the vaccine/autism link untrue.

Your refusal to learn the facts, read for yourself, and stop and think doesn’t make any of the following less true:

1. Thompson admitted to Brain Hooker, on audio tape, to omitting data linking an increase in autism to black boys who get an MMR shot before 36 months. That studies on tics and thimerosal were altered. That studies showing MMR was linked to “isolated autism” were altered to water down the results… [something they’ve done before, information we’ve known about for years! (thimerosal, Verstraeten, Simpsonwood –Read RFK Jrs work on this)]

These are three examples that we know of so far. Congressman Posey’s office is currently wading through a crap ton of documents turned over to them from CDC SCIENTIST WILLIAM THOMPSON.

2. Autism is a collection of symptoms that are known vaccines injuries.

3. There are OBVIOUSLY children who are predisposed to vaccine injury and we, as a society of human beings ought to find out who they are and why.

4. That a court case is going forward right now with TWO internal REAL Honest-to-Goodness Whistle Blowers from inside Merck, suing Merck over lies they told about the efficacy of their MMR vaccines.

5.  cdcmeme3

6. There are a LOT of people out there who stand to lose a LOT of money AND go to jail (I’m looking at you Coleen 😉 Julie 😉 ) when the truth about vaccines comes out. I have to wonder why the average American is so willing to put their child’s health up on the alter to be sacrificed for those people.

7. The Vaccine Question has NOT been Answered, yet.

8. All this has happened. CDC Whistle Blower Time Line.



This is Autism. Post 1.

I saw this in my newsfeed today and my first, immediate reaction was, “What a fucking nightmare!”
‘The Lion King’ Broadway cast takes over a subway train.
Welcome to autism.

Autism families don’t experience life like the ‘normals’ do.  As a former Normal, I would have found this video delightful. As the mother to a child with severe hearing sensitivities, I saw it as my worst nightmare.  If we were on that train car, I’d be screaming at them to please stop while trying to keep my child from punching and biting himself or others.

No, I am not asking the world to stop being so awesome (in the rare moments that it is awesome… rare).  Just understand if/when someone asks you to please stop.  I’ve been in situations where I have asked people to turn down their music only to be ignored while my son escalates into a full blown meltdown.


(Once was on his school van, where the new driver said of the situation, “Well, little Johnny has been riding this van longer than Gavin and I can’t ask him to turn his music down.” To which I replied, “Um. OK, well just remember that when Gavin is putting little Johnny’s head thru the window with one arm and beating you with the other!” –And then I pulled Gavin off the van, of course, but deep down, I was wanting to see my son punch that driver in her dumb face.)


When someone refuses, we have to try to leave if we can -which upsets my son even more. It always ruins our day.

Worst hotel experience? The Howard Johnson in Toms River NJ.
I won’t even go into the room issue we had… My son loves to swim and we always have to pick hotels with pools and hot tubs.  They were blasting music in the pool area and refused to turn it off for the hour we wanted to swim.  #DoochBags
(Yes, I know how to spell douche. Inside joke. It’s funnier, trust me.)

HEY, Ho Jo, Toms River...
HEY, Ho Jo, Toms River…

Sometimes people are super awesome, like when I went to Shine: Studio for Hair here in Fort Myers to fix the disaster I created on my head.  Gavin started to get upset (Hey, single mom, no where to send him, not even for an hour to go get my hair cut, so he comes with me everywhere #thisisautism), and with no fuss, they turned the music off for the rest of the time we were there.

That was easy.
That was easy.

By the way, I am editing this because I feel like I didn’t say enough about Shine and Ia. Ia heard from a friend what I did to my, once fucking amazing, hair and took pity on me. She gave me a free cut and color, and now my hair is much shorter, but thankfully, still fucking amazing! 😉 So… sweet, kind, awesome… and autism-train-wreck friendly! They are highly recommended by me.

New hair:

A couple weeks ago I was walking around downtown Fort Myers while my youngest was at his musical theater class. It was me and Gavin, and he loves to kick around the streets as much as I do. However, there were a few street musicians out. I used to love to stop and listen… now I see them as IEDs to be avoided.  It didn’t help that we tried to leave the theater building three times and had to run back in because of sirens.


Sirens. Man… fuck sirens.

We live in fight or flight 24/7. No trip out of the house is a relaxed one. The shit can get real in 1 nanosecond. We can’t enjoy the things you enjoy. We can’t relax. Ever. My body reacts as if I am living in a war zone, always.

The street might look like this to you:sub

But it’s this in my eye:
Kinda feels exactly like this.

Sweet Happy street musician to you:

to me, feels more like I am walking up on this guy:

And a train full of people singing loudly:Ah! The circle is complete ;)

Ah! The circle is complete 😉

The Future’s So Bright, We need a headlamp, map and compass… Part 2.


Tyler doesn’t belong in jail. Tyler can’t be home. Tyler couldn’t make it in a group home that was not prepared to handle his special needs. He was in a place that could care for him –but it was costing the state of NJ too much… There are a lot of Tylers out there. New Jersey made them all come home. Not in the best interest of the HUMAN being, but in the best interest of Christie’s wallet. “Return Home New Jersey” –sounds so nice, yes?

Would you put a five year old child in jail?
Please stop looking at young men with developmental disabilities as the 20-somethings they are. Because they are not. In my 20-something college days I used to rail against the system that thought it was appropriate to charge 11 year old children as adults because the crimes they committed were “adult crimes”. We have a juvenile justice system for a reason, and if you want to have this debate… call me. I wasn’t just a bleeding heart –I was a poly-sci/law student with a background in all things medical and psychological. I also had the “this might be your kid someday” monkey on my back.  I look at the photo of Tyler and he looks like my son –only slighter. But there is the beard and mustache… there is the look of a grown up. They look like grown ups. They’ve been on the earth long enough to count as grown ups. But they are children. Toddlers.

Not a week goes by that I don’t see a story of a special needs child being cuffed and taken to the police station because of “bad behavior”. Or what should be called ‘typical behavior of one with xyz condition’. I understand that when these kids meltdown, the situation needs to be controlled –but we need to work on the proper solutions to control it. To stop it from happening in the first place. Or to find the kids most susceptible to toxins and limit their exposure –by the way, we all have a tipping point, some tip sooner rather than later.

To those still claiming we have better diagnosis and this is nothing new, why are states out of money? Why is there nowhere for these kids to go? Just send Tyler to where all the Tylers before him would go.
…where’s my easy button?

How about my Spoiler Alert pic?
This is not normal. This is not the way it’s always been. This is new.

I was reminded recently of the time my son’s school plunked down $7,000 to buy him a Dynavox because “We have the money, that’s what it’s for.” Twelve years later, go ask your school today if there is $7,000 to buy your kid anything. In 1998 my child got 40 hours a week of wraparound, OT, ST, Pre-school, mobile therapy… from dawn to dusk and then some, the state was paying for his care.  I added it up when PA was looking to put caps on MA services depending on income. See, in PA, kids with a diagnosis get Medicaid no matter what the parents make. PA started to see the influx of cases and wanted to put a 100K dollar limit on the child’s eligibility, based on parent’s income. Seems reasonable –except I added up Gavin’s expenses for THAT year… and MA had already paid over $100,000 for my child. Ten years later, I couldn’t get a quarter of the services he was getting back then. Agencies were getting less from the state, they started cutting corners and services got poor. We went from having well trained therapists in my house, to bubble headed blondes who stood in my kitchen looking lost.

I shit you not. I worked for one of these agencies as a "TSS" (Therapeutic Staff Support). My training was playing with kids for 6 hours.
I shit you not. I worked for one of these agencies as a “TSS” (Therapeutic Staff Support). My training was playing with kids for 6 hours.

I called the agency and canceled services. Why bother.

We’ve reached a point in my house where my child needs to be medicated.
There are a lot of reasons behind that and I am not going to go into detail right now.

But we are there.
I also made phone calls to see what kind of residential placements I might be able to find for him. I was told all about the really long wait lists.


Mental wards in hospitals and Jails.
These are going to be the next places that start to feel the pain of an entire generation of kids with brain and body damage from vaccines, pesticides, and petrochemicals.

Ebola all up in your newsfeed? Ask me if I give a fuck.
You people get all worked up over the media bukkake fest of fear and virus outbreaks in the name of clicks and ad revenue… and ignore the HUGE FUCKING PANDEMIC OF RUINED CHILDREN right in front of your face.  A number which grows each year and is expected to be 1 in 2 by 2025. You stare at my child in public and have no clue that you are looking at a dead canary.

WHAT THE FUCK is wrong with people?
You realize that we are going to have to bring back the institutions, right?
There is no other option. And in one generation for every child in one, we will only have one human who can take care of one.
Hm. I guess it’s coincidence Ebola has a 50% mortality rate and it’s suddenly here in this country even though nothing’s changed in the way of air travel and past Ebola outbreaks –other than the ‘fact’ we have a vaccine now.  Maybe our gov’t wants to take out the “weak” 50%, you think? Meh, maybe they just want to make a few more billion.

There is nowhere for Tyler to go. There is nowhere for Gavin to go. There is nowhere for your child to go.

Parents, we really need to start working together to build communities and villages and communes where we can all live together, help each other, support each other… drink together, garden together, live together –or we die alone.  And our kids face a future in jails, mental wards and the new, amazing autism care facilities of the future. For a while… until there is no one left to care for them.

We all need a reality check. Take inventory of what you have, understand that no help is coming, and plan for your own future, for your child’s future. If ‘hope’ gets you through, good on ya… but hope is not currency. Hope is what you are left with when you are powerless. Don’t be powerless. It’s up to us.

“You hid in that ditch because you think there’s still hope… the only hope you have is to accept the fact that you’re already dead.”