This is Autism. Post 1.

I saw this in my newsfeed today and my first, immediate reaction was, “What a fucking nightmare!”
‘The Lion King’ Broadway cast takes over a subway train.
Welcome to autism.

Autism families don’t experience life like the ‘normals’ do.  As a former Normal, I would have found this video delightful. As the mother to a child with severe hearing sensitivities, I saw it as my worst nightmare.  If we were on that train car, I’d be screaming at them to please stop while trying to keep my child from punching and biting himself or others.

No, I am not asking the world to stop being so awesome (in the rare moments that it is awesome… rare).  Just understand if/when someone asks you to please stop.  I’ve been in situations where I have asked people to turn down their music only to be ignored while my son escalates into a full blown meltdown.


(Once was on his school van, where the new driver said of the situation, “Well, little Johnny has been riding this van longer than Gavin and I can’t ask him to turn his music down.” To which I replied, “Um. OK, well just remember that when Gavin is putting little Johnny’s head thru the window with one arm and beating you with the other!” –And then I pulled Gavin off the van, of course, but deep down, I was wanting to see my son punch that driver in her dumb face.)


When someone refuses, we have to try to leave if we can -which upsets my son even more. It always ruins our day.

Worst hotel experience? The Howard Johnson in Toms River NJ.
I won’t even go into the room issue we had… My son loves to swim and we always have to pick hotels with pools and hot tubs.  They were blasting music in the pool area and refused to turn it off for the hour we wanted to swim.  #DoochBags
(Yes, I know how to spell douche. Inside joke. It’s funnier, trust me.)

HEY, Ho Jo, Toms River...
HEY, Ho Jo, Toms River…

Sometimes people are super awesome, like when I went to Shine: Studio for Hair here in Fort Myers to fix the disaster I created on my head.  Gavin started to get upset (Hey, single mom, no where to send him, not even for an hour to go get my hair cut, so he comes with me everywhere #thisisautism), and with no fuss, they turned the music off for the rest of the time we were there.

That was easy.
That was easy.

By the way, I am editing this because I feel like I didn’t say enough about Shine and Ia. Ia heard from a friend what I did to my, once fucking amazing, hair and took pity on me. She gave me a free cut and color, and now my hair is much shorter, but thankfully, still fucking amazing! 😉 So… sweet, kind, awesome… and autism-train-wreck friendly! They are highly recommended by me.

New hair:

A couple weeks ago I was walking around downtown Fort Myers while my youngest was at his musical theater class. It was me and Gavin, and he loves to kick around the streets as much as I do. However, there were a few street musicians out. I used to love to stop and listen… now I see them as IEDs to be avoided.  It didn’t help that we tried to leave the theater building three times and had to run back in because of sirens.


Sirens. Man… fuck sirens.

We live in fight or flight 24/7. No trip out of the house is a relaxed one. The shit can get real in 1 nanosecond. We can’t enjoy the things you enjoy. We can’t relax. Ever. My body reacts as if I am living in a war zone, always.

The street might look like this to you:sub

But it’s this in my eye:
Kinda feels exactly like this.

Sweet Happy street musician to you:

to me, feels more like I am walking up on this guy:

And a train full of people singing loudly:Ah! The circle is complete ;)

Ah! The circle is complete 😉


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