Day 5 back on keto. Five pounds gone. It still seems so counter-intuitive to shove more and more fat in your mouth to lose fat…  EVEN THOUGH I know the science, and the how, and the why. My days are full of shoving a crap ton of coconut oil and Kerrygold* butter into my coffee and on everything I eat.


Butter, coconut oil, avocados and bacon.
Egg yolks!


Back in the 80’s those foods were vilified.

If you were born in the 70s you remember watching this on laser disc!
If you were born in the 70s you remember watching this on laser disc! While your mom busted ass werkin’ it!

We were told eating all that fat is bad for your heart!! And it will raise your cholesterol!! And give you a heart attack or stroke AND KILL YOU. We were told to eat more grains! Like… 11 servings a day. Eat your pasta and white bread, and Snackwell cookies… they are low fat. *eye roll* –None of that was based on science, by the way.

So what happened with this dietary shift? We all got fat as fuck and/or chronically ill.
(Collective “all” I know skinny people still exist. I know it depends on what you eat and what metabolic issues you have, stress, hormone levels, gut bugs, toxin load, etc. –but I am not getting into that today… keeping it breezy.)


Grains are sugar. Excess sugar is stored as fat. Grains and sugar make you fat. Fat doesn’t make you fat.
Dietary fat doesn’t harm your health either –unless consumed by people with inflammation from eating all those grains.
I am not going to reinvent the wheel today –there are many great books out there to read about keto and carbs and all this mess… I will link to them in a minute.

I just wanted to tell you a little bit about Ketogenic diets in MY house. I did this in the summer, but like any good sugar addict I fell off the wagon. And since then… I look at my face in the mirror and freak out. I have aged five years since the summer. I gained 10 pounds back since the summer.  I feel like shit again. No more.

Your body doesn’t need dietary carbs and glucose. It simply doesn’t. Everything you’ve been taught is wrong.
Fat is your friend. (Best fats? Quick overview here.)
There is no such thing as a carb deficiency.
Grains cause the inflammation that leads to heart disease.
Your brain PREFERS ketones for energy –so does you heart.
Dietary ketosis is perfectly safe and it is NOT the same thing as ketoacidosis.
Keto is NOT a high protein diet. Excess protein converts to sugar in your body. It’s a high fat diet. High fat, moderate protein, low carb.
WE NEED CHOLESTEROL in our body.. for Vit D synthesis AND for our brains…

We’ve been lied to.

Gavin had some seizures Christmas morning. Not grand mals, but pretty wicked myoclonic ones. This tells me that while he and I have the same diagnosis, we have two completely different presentations of epilepsy.  Mine has stayed “mild” in the sense that the worst thing to happen to me is I drop and break shit sometimes (er.. often). His makes him fall down, and the grand mals are more likely to come back since he’s had them before.

I say again… the brain prefers ketones for energy over glucose. Back when Gavin first had a seizure I looked up ketogenic diets again (had read a little in the past) –and I found the same information as I had in the past. “Keto diets are extreme and hard to maintain… they have to be JUST RIGHT.” That really scares you away. It sounds HARD. Plus Gavin’s seizures weren’t *that bad*. Not worth the effort, I supposed.

Here’s the thing… they are not really extreme and they are not hard and there are some basic guidelines and you can slip out of ketosis, but it’s worth the effort. It. Is. Not. Hard.

So we’re back on keto.
The books I am going to share here will tell you everything you need to know, and it varies for everyone a bit, but basically the ratio can be an 80/15/5 fat/protein/carb.

Some of my best, skinny mini friends will tell me they can eat grains without problem. Please hold off on telling me that until you get some blood work done. Go get a CBC and chem panel AND get your ESR and CRP checked –Sed rate and C reactive protein. If those are all normal, and you feel healthy and have no complaints and NO medical issues… then YOU are right. YOU can eat grains. But if your ESR and CRP indicate inflammation –then I don’t care how good you look and feel, you are an early death by heart attack waiting to happen, especially if your triglycerides are high and your cholesterol ratio is off.

He's waiting....
He’s waiting….

Go read… now:

Keto Clarity by Jimmy Moore.  A great book to get you pumped to take the plunge, tell you how to get started, and try to calm your fears about eating fat.

Keto Adapted by Maria Emmerich.   She also has a webpage that I love so much, right here.

I still recommend The Wahl’s Protocol as well. Not just for people with MS, but with any chronic health issue. Her Paleo Plus level diet, is ketogenic. She does a nice job at telling you how all disease has the same dysfunction at its core –cellular metabolic problems, it just presents differently in different people. She also sets out a diet plan for those who want to do this and remain vegan. (She is doing a clinical trial, testing her diet, for you “evidenced based” science worshipers.)

Maria and James are working on a cookbook that you can Pre-order here: How am I supposed to wait for July for this!!!

What to expect:
Detox. Both times that I have done this, day 3/4 saw an RA flare. My hands hurt like hell. But it only lasted a day.
Acne gets worse before better… boost your liver.
Boosting your liver will help flush toxins –it makes sense right? Stored fat stores toxins. As you start to lose fat… that crap hits your body. Support the detox process. I am not a doctor.. so go google that shiz yourself. I am sure people with Candida will see a die off. IT MIGHT GET UGLY. Hang in there. READ THE BOOKS COVER TO COVER BEFORE YOU START. I made that mistake the first time, wasn’t prepared with a well formulated diet. It lead to the fall.


Weight loss 🙂
Clearing of the Brain Fog.
LESS hunger.
YES. Healthy foods cost more than toxic garbage. However, you are less hungry when you consume fat. YOU EAT LESS. This diet costs less. I promise.  I eat once a day on keto. I’m just not hungry.
(Oh yeah, another myth is that you need to eat several small meals a day… um… only if you are on the blood sugar roller coaster. When you switch from being a sugar-burner to a fat-burner, your blood glucose level stabilizes.)

Chronic illnesses vanishing. Type 2 diabetes goes away. Inflammation goes away… so many health problems just go away. Every time I clean up my diet, the rheumatoid arthritis GOES AWAY.
Eczema. Psoriasis. PCOS. … the list goes on.

If Paleo works for you –do paleo.
But paleo didn’t work for me. I was still always hungry. I overate protein. And even “paleo legal” carbs made me sick. Stop struggling if you are struggling, and give this a go.
And for the next time I fall off the wagon…

But, really… no more. I turn 40 in 10 months. I can’t be this sick and miserable at 40 or I’ll throw myself in front of a train.

[*Full disclosure.. I just read this about Kerrygold and want to cry. I guess I will switch to Organic Valley, and try to find a local butter.]



$506 a day. #WTFloriduh

I was thinking about this last night as I fell asleep. Wrote a whole blog in my head but of course I don’t remember it. I remember the end… $506 a day.

The state of Florida will pay nursing homes more than $506 a day to care for a sick child. Read that here in this story of a such a child… who died in the “care” of such a place.

$506 a day.


My son had a good day yesterday. He seemed happy. He was running around, laughing… listening to rock music, which is generally a no-no as such songs can set him off into a rage at times. He even dropped a crystal clear WH question when he saw me pouring maple syrup on meatballs (Yes… I have a problem). “Why are you putting maple syrup on the meatballs?” he asked… while pausing, grasping onto the furniture to brace himself from his blown mind. The good days are rare.

I’m still in the process of trying to find him some adequate help here in Florida.  He’s medically a wreck –but you know… with issues that doctors deny are real, or issues that get ignored because, “Well, he’s autistic!”  The doctors who know how to begin to help him are out of our price range.

People talk about how much autism “costs” a family,  they don’t talk about the “cost” to the child when there is no money. –it doesn’t cost me a thing, I don’t have a thing to spend.  Quality of life is the cost.


And Florida pays nursing homes over $506 a DAY.

Can you imagine how much $506 extra a MONTH could help me?
A WEEK? OMG! A week!
Why don’t they give families HALF that for in home care?

They don’t give families a DIME. Even Pennsylvania chipped in $22.10 a month. That number always made me laugh, but ask me how much I appreciated that half tank of gas. Florida doesn’t chip in SSP at all. Gavin gets $721 a month from SSI. Oh wait!! Cost of living raise next month!! $733. A month.

We live on that and a little bit of child support.


Ask me how much I wish there was someone who could adequately take care of my child during the day so that I could work. I would shovel dog shit right now if it meant a paycheck and a BREAK from my prison house.

I bet for $106 a day I could hire someone to care for him.
That would create a job #WTFloriduh!
And I could go back to work. Pay some taxes instead of qualifying for food stamps and medicaid. It would save the state $146,000 a year on the bill they are about to be footing because I don’t know how much longer I can care for my son at home, alone. Who are these brainless bureaucrats?


And the flood of kids like my son is coming.
The more I talk out about our struggles, the more emails I get from parents living the same nightmare. My situation isn’t rare.

The truth is, a typical nursing home couldn’t handle my son… not unless they drug him into a coma. And he’s a kid who can’t be drugged. When he was two they gave him a cocktail to knock him out for an MRI, he staggered around like an angry drunk –a trend that continues thru adulthood, only… he’s a giant now, not a toddler.
Those parents emailing me? Their kids are the same. Nothing works for them.  The brain and body damage is too much.


This is a societal problem.
You there… Mr. I-Don’t-Have-An-Autistic-Child. Who do you think is paying the bill?  Why are the autism parents the only ones who can envision the societal collapse coming our way?


Is that when our government will finally turn on the pharmaceutical industry? When the cost of caring for our vaccine injured kids exceeds the bribes, kickbacks, and campaign contributions that they currently enjoy?


MMR, all the harmy goodness, none of the perks.

I don’t watch the news much.
I do prefer my dramas scripted, but not the ones that pretend to be true. So I missed out on all this Mumps nonsense. I caught a whiff of it in my Facebook newsfeed.

Why the NHL lost control of its mumps outbreak.
The highlights:

“As far as I know, everybody received the immunization when they were young.”

“Throwing a wrench into all of this is that some players with the disease recently did receive a booster. ”

“That’s because the optimal level of antibody to protect from the virus is unknown.”

And this nugget:

“The takeaway here is that the mumps vaccine works, we just don’t know how long it works.”

Let me share something here that I posted on FB today:

I had an MMR vaccine as a kid, #1. I had an MMR vaccine when I went to basic training in 93, #2. In 95 they did my titers. Not immune. I had another MMR in 95, #3. (Unfortunately, 2 months before getting pregnant with my future autistic child. There was a small case study that showed it’s more common for women who had the MMR shortly before getting pregnant, or right after while breast feeding, to have kids who regressed into autism when THE kids had their MMR). I had titers done again for a job in 99. Not immune. I told them to go to hell with their vaccine.

How long it works? Well for me, I can tell you it didn’t even hold for two years.

I saw some arguments on Facebook from friends of friends, blaming the hypothetical unvaccinated child for traveling abroad and bringing measles or mumps home, and spreading them to a classmate with cancer who then dies.

Well, shit. That would be awful. But they are operating under the false notion that vaccines are effective.


They’re not. We’re swimming in the proof.

Your fully vaccinated child is no more protected than my unvaccinated child.

And let’s not forget that two Merck scientists turned whistle blowers and are taking Merck to court to show that Merck flat out LIED about the effectiveness of the Mumps vaccine. Merck is being sued for fraud. If found guilty, I’m sure the fine they receive will come back to them in insane profits anyway –I bet they are orgasmic over this outbreak of Mumps and all the talk that maybe we need yearly boosters along with our flu shots.

Are you that dumb?

Why can’t most people understand that a vaccine comes with a list of ‘cons’ and risks just like any pill you’d put in your mouth? Why are most people, who are so critical of the government in every other aspect of life, so willing to give them a pass on the vaccine issue?
Check yourself.

Through my research, I would say that a vaccine that offers LIFE LONG immunity for any disease isn’t worth the risk to me and mine. And you want me to take that risk every year?

Why do you think vaccines are safe when an extremely-hard-to-win-at vaccine court has paid out 3 BILLION in damages since its creation 26 years ago?

I still can’t understand those people who plant their flag in “perfectly safe” land when the manufacturers themselves know they aren’t safe, and sought protection from liability. When officials have called them “unavoidably unsafe.” –under the idea that we need herd immunity –yet… We don’t have herd immunity. It’s a myth.

And have you forgotten about the #CDCWhistleBlower? You know… that top CDC scientist, William Thompson, who told everyone where to look for the omitted data in fraudulent CDC studies that would have showed an association between MMR and autism? The story you refuse to educate yourselves about because you haven’t seen it discussed in the mainstream media, yet?

Vaccines are not effective.
Vaccines can kill you.
Vaccines can maim you.

Educate yourselves.