Category Archives: Autism Wars

A poem about Measles.

Yep, finally at this point…
meas

Just saw another story about suing the unvaxxed.
Friend asked, “When did Americans become such pussies [over measles]?” and I replied, “When their Pharma overlords told them to be.”
Afraid of measles?
you’re an asshole who has never heard of Vit A and proper nutrition –WAIT! I take that back!
YOU morons SHOULD fear measles.
Consider most of these parents who fear the unvax’d think proper nutrition is a fucking HOT POCKET and a Flintstones vitamin.

Cunts.
How about I SUE you for feeding your children SHIT and allowing their immune systems to be so weakened by that toxic waste you call food that they are able to succumb to measles?
The body is a temple.

Be a parent.
You think pharma is an easy button to replace parenting.
Put the kid in front of the TV and Xbox –slip them some Ritalin.
Let them eat shit –give them a vaccine.

GFYM.

*drops mic*

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The Needle and the Damage Done.

I think every autism parent whose child is a non-responder wonders at some point… why? Maybe I just haven’t found the right treatment, yet. Maybe I didn’t try the right thing long enough… Maybe the damage was just too much, too bad, non-reversible. Maybe I missed that window.

Thanks to hindsight and medical records it took me a while to realize that my child was not born with some kind of delay. Yes, I was one of those moms who thought my son was “born with it” to *some* degree –even though I witnessed a regression immediately following his MMR/DTaP at 15 months. “But you know,” I would say, “from the start there were issues. He had some words… but only about 6. And there never was shared attention, not really… he never pointed to a thing. And all those medical problems! The allergies, the reflux, the eczema… the 106 fever… he was a sickly baby.”

I had one of those ah-ha moments about 6 years ago… when you realize that your child was perfect when he was born. Perfect. For a whole day. Then he got his birth dose of Hep B, and like dominoes, it all went down. Projectile vomiting. Screaming for two solid days. The rashes… He had an auto-immune reaction to that Hep B. And he also had brain swelling. –Encephalitis. A known and recognized and compensatable vaccine injury. I compared his first 15 months to a boxing match. With every round of vaccines he’d get knocked down on his ass… but then he’d get back up. Recovering a little from the last round, but not fully. Each round… a little worse, until the 15 month K.O. punch.

A known and compensatable injury. But I missed it at the time. So did his doctors. Those Gods that you people defer to –when you tell me my opinion doesn’t count. Because I don’t have MD after my name. Because somehow that means I can’t possibly read and comprehend medical literature and concepts for myself. They aren’t gods.

Recently I discussed my sons case with a couple doctors, and upon reviewing his charts and history, they agreed. He suffered a compensatable vaccine injury –and these were not “autism” doctors. These are general practitioners with no dogs in the fight.
So why don’t I file? I can’t. It’s too late. More on NVICP later… As what I’ve typed so far isn’t new info from me, you can find it in other blogs… but it’s an intro to what I wanted to talk about today… which is, What exactly happened to  my son at his 15 month “well baby” appointment.

I shared a photo the other day that you have all seen several times from me. And it shook the troll tree.  They took to my page with personal insults and a death threat, even! How dare I spread illness! How dare I kill babies by telling my son’s story! This one:
beforeaftermmr

One mom implied that I took a couple sleepy “nose picking” photos of my son to fake my point.  Thing is…  I have a shit ton of photos of my child. Before and after. I have video… this was just a sampling. They are all the same. For months after that vaccine my son took up that pitiful position. Lost. Gone. Self-soothing. He doesn’t suck his thumb. He is using it to apply pressure to the roof of his mouth –it’s a great pressure point for comfort. He did this for such a long time that his hand pushed his bottom teeth out of alignment. By the time he’d actually take a break from this position, I chalked up the droopy lip to misaligned teeth.

I even had a professional working with my child point it out.
I even had a doctor point it out.
Both times *I* dismissed it. “Oh… he pushed his teeth out of alignment.”
Yes, folks, the “Know It All” in my name is a joke. For those of you who miss the sarcasm. I had medical professionals willing to tell me it looked like my son had a stroke, and *I* blew it off. A compensatable vaccine injury.

Yesterday, a friend shared that photo with the words, that to her, it looked like a stroke.

Stroke.
I hadn’t even entertained that word before yesterday.
But once I “heard” it…

There is another photo… most of you have seen it as well. I took it a couple months ago and it disturbed me once I saw it. But I got it all backwards. To me, it didn’t look like my child… I considered the angle, maybe some lens distortion… I thought perhaps he had a sinus infection on the left side of his face that was making him puffy, making his face so asymmetrical… I posted it on Facebook to my friends asking for opinions… and they didn’t notice the “puffy” left side –they all noticed the droopy right side. I was saying, “No, No… he’s been like that for years… that lip… misaligned teeth…” But then I looked at his eyes… I’d been looking at that face, with the obvious nerve damage, for 16 years and missed it.Gavin.

The left side isn’t swollen. The left side is what the right side of his face SHOULD look like.
–Still, my brain didn’t really process it. Sure. One more thing…
Yes, he regressed fully into moderate-severe autism after his MMR. But I never knew what to think about that because he had no signs of gut damage. (He was never scoped, maybe I am wrong on that, but we didn’t have any of the bowel symptoms that other families see.)

But what about that DTaP? It was his first DTaP –all the others had been DTP. The more dangerous, whole cell, version of the vaccine that was basically the reason behind the NVICP. In 1996 it was supposed to be off the shelves. Yet, my son got three. Dec 96. Feb 97. April 97.
Even the “less dangerous” (NOT SAFE) DTaP can kill and maim.  And he got it in combination with the MMR.

My son was born in 1996. He got far less vaccines than kids get today –but the ones he got? ALL of them are off the shelf today –think about that. He got OPV. Not given today. He got DTP. Not given today. All his other vaccines were fully loaded with 12.5 or 25 mcg of mercury. NOT given today (Unless you get the IM flu shot, there is still the full amount of mercury in the flu shot. In the adult version, which is given to kids age 7 and older, 25 mcg. In the “kids” version 12.5 mcg of mercury, but babies are given two their first year –so they get 25 mcg of mercury. A known neurotoxin, in case you’ve been living under a rock.)

And don’t get me started on aluminum.
Today you think kids are getting “safer” vaccines –but they are getting almost twice as many as my son got. STILL with aluminum. STILL with mercury. Nothing’s gotten better.

Some kids are genetically susceptible to damage. Yes. But we all have a tipping point –as evidenced by the, still, increasing number of cases year after year. My son has several methylation cycle mutations in his DNA… But where did those mutations come from? Our environment is toxic. Chemical exposure is altering DNA, and we are passing those mutations to our kids… and the needle… it’s too much. You can read my post on Agent Orange/Dioxins, Vietnam Grandpas and MTHFR moms and autistic kids if you want my thoughts on that.

I learned my lesson the hard way with my family. My autistic son and I are fully vaccinated. He paid greatly for that. I pay too. Not as great for my own vaccine injury, but this whole house suffers. And your tax dollars suffer, I promise you that. The future of the human race is suffering.

Yet, today we are in the midst of a measles “epidemic” (their words, not mine… 70 cases make an epidemic of a once common childhood illness! But 1 in 68 kids with autism, Meh. Nothing to see there! –though those are the numbers for kids born 13 years ago, we know it’s closer to 1 in 20 for kids being born now. By 2025, an MIT scientist has estimated 1 in 2.) And strangers are telling me that I should vaccinate my youngest child. The one who is the winner in all of this. The one who was spared the needle and the damage done. I should vaccinate him anyway, they say –to save THEIR child. If it kills my son, if it causes a brain injury… “Oh, well, at least he won’t get measles.” Except –that is not even true because we know the vaccine is not effective.  My youngest has worse MTHFR mutations than my autistic child! Hear this well… over my DEAD BODY will my youngest be sacrificed for your ignorance. I had a doctor willing to write me a medical exemption for vaccines for him, based on family medical history. Don’t even try to tell me that you know better than a medical doctor familiar with my children and our DNA. And THAT doctor is not an “anti-vaccine autism” doctor. He runs a family practice. He vaccinates his patients.

There ARE susceptible groups to vaccine damage.
My children are among them.
Why do we not want to figure out who they are?
Why do we not want to back the vaccine schedule up to the 1983 one –the one that gave far less vaccines and in a time when there were no mass deaths from vaccine “preventable” illness? And in a time when autism rates were 1 in 10,000.
We’ve gone too far.
Pharma makes BILLIONS upon BILLIONS.
They cannot be sued for the needle and the damage done.
So what is stopping them from convincing you that you need a vaccine for every little sniffle that comes your way? There are billions of dollars to be made! “Health and Wellness” be damned!

Our only compensation can come from the NVICP –and there is only a three year window to file. From when the injury occurred… NOT from when it was discovered. My new found hunch, that my son suffered a stroke 16 years ago? Sorry. SOL on the SOL.

I sing the song because I love the man…. I know that some of you don’t understand.

 

 

 

 

$506 a day. #WTFloriduh

I was thinking about this last night as I fell asleep. Wrote a whole blog in my head but of course I don’t remember it. I remember the end… $506 a day.

The state of Florida will pay nursing homes more than $506 a day to care for a sick child. Read that here in this story of a such a child… who died in the “care” of such a place.

$506 a day.

eyes

My son had a good day yesterday. He seemed happy. He was running around, laughing… listening to rock music, which is generally a no-no as such songs can set him off into a rage at times. He even dropped a crystal clear WH question when he saw me pouring maple syrup on meatballs (Yes… I have a problem). “Why are you putting maple syrup on the meatballs?” he asked… while pausing, grasping onto the furniture to brace himself from his blown mind. The good days are rare.

I’m still in the process of trying to find him some adequate help here in Florida.  He’s medically a wreck –but you know… with issues that doctors deny are real, or issues that get ignored because, “Well, he’s autistic!”  The doctors who know how to begin to help him are out of our price range.

People talk about how much autism “costs” a family,  they don’t talk about the “cost” to the child when there is no money. –it doesn’t cost me a thing, I don’t have a thing to spend.  Quality of life is the cost.

despairdemotivator

And Florida pays nursing homes over $506 a DAY.

Can you imagine how much $506 extra a MONTH could help me?
A WEEK? OMG! A week!
Why don’t they give families HALF that for in home care?

They don’t give families a DIME. Even Pennsylvania chipped in $22.10 a month. That number always made me laugh, but ask me how much I appreciated that half tank of gas. Florida doesn’t chip in SSP at all. Gavin gets $721 a month from SSI. Oh wait!! Cost of living raise next month!! $733. A month.

We live on that and a little bit of child support.

mission_impossible

Ask me how much I wish there was someone who could adequately take care of my child during the day so that I could work. I would shovel dog shit right now if it meant a paycheck and a BREAK from my prison house.

I bet for $106 a day I could hire someone to care for him.
That would create a job #WTFloriduh!
And I could go back to work. Pay some taxes instead of qualifying for food stamps and medicaid. It would save the state $146,000 a year on the bill they are about to be footing because I don’t know how much longer I can care for my son at home, alone. Who are these brainless bureaucrats?

brainless

And the flood of kids like my son is coming.
The more I talk out about our struggles, the more emails I get from parents living the same nightmare. My situation isn’t rare.

The truth is, a typical nursing home couldn’t handle my son… not unless they drug him into a coma. And he’s a kid who can’t be drugged. When he was two they gave him a cocktail to knock him out for an MRI, he staggered around like an angry drunk –a trend that continues thru adulthood, only… he’s a giant now, not a toddler.
Those parents emailing me? Their kids are the same. Nothing works for them.  The brain and body damage is too much.

satire-train-wreck

This is a societal problem.
You there… Mr. I-Don’t-Have-An-Autistic-Child. Who do you think is paying the bill?  Why are the autism parents the only ones who can envision the societal collapse coming our way?

silverlining

Is that when our government will finally turn on the pharmaceutical industry? When the cost of caring for our vaccine injured kids exceeds the bribes, kickbacks, and campaign contributions that they currently enjoy?

 

MMR, all the harmy goodness, none of the perks.

I don’t watch the news much.
I do prefer my dramas scripted, but not the ones that pretend to be true. So I missed out on all this Mumps nonsense. I caught a whiff of it in my Facebook newsfeed.

Why the NHL lost control of its mumps outbreak.
The highlights:

“As far as I know, everybody received the immunization when they were young.”

“Throwing a wrench into all of this is that some players with the disease recently did receive a booster. ”

“That’s because the optimal level of antibody to protect from the virus is unknown.”

And this nugget:

“The takeaway here is that the mumps vaccine works, we just don’t know how long it works.”

Let me share something here that I posted on FB today:

I had an MMR vaccine as a kid, #1. I had an MMR vaccine when I went to basic training in 93, #2. In 95 they did my titers. Not immune. I had another MMR in 95, #3. (Unfortunately, 2 months before getting pregnant with my future autistic child. There was a small case study that showed it’s more common for women who had the MMR shortly before getting pregnant, or right after while breast feeding, to have kids who regressed into autism when THE kids had their MMR). I had titers done again for a job in 99. Not immune. I told them to go to hell with their vaccine.

How long it works? Well for me, I can tell you it didn’t even hold for two years.

I saw some arguments on Facebook from friends of friends, blaming the hypothetical unvaccinated child for traveling abroad and bringing measles or mumps home, and spreading them to a classmate with cancer who then dies.

Well, shit. That would be awful. But they are operating under the false notion that vaccines are effective.

spoiler

They’re not. We’re swimming in the proof.

Your fully vaccinated child is no more protected than my unvaccinated child.

And let’s not forget that two Merck scientists turned whistle blowers and are taking Merck to court to show that Merck flat out LIED about the effectiveness of the Mumps vaccine. Merck is being sued for fraud. If found guilty, I’m sure the fine they receive will come back to them in insane profits anyway –I bet they are orgasmic over this outbreak of Mumps and all the talk that maybe we need yearly boosters along with our flu shots.

Are you that dumb?

Why can’t most people understand that a vaccine comes with a list of ‘cons’ and risks just like any pill you’d put in your mouth? Why are most people, who are so critical of the government in every other aspect of life, so willing to give them a pass on the vaccine issue?
Check yourself.

Through my research, I would say that a vaccine that offers LIFE LONG immunity for any disease isn’t worth the risk to me and mine. And you want me to take that risk every year?

Why do you think vaccines are safe when an extremely-hard-to-win-at vaccine court has paid out 3 BILLION in damages since its creation 26 years ago?

I still can’t understand those people who plant their flag in “perfectly safe” land when the manufacturers themselves know they aren’t safe, and sought protection from liability. When officials have called them “unavoidably unsafe.” –under the idea that we need herd immunity –yet… We don’t have herd immunity. It’s a myth.

And have you forgotten about the #CDCWhistleBlower? You know… that top CDC scientist, William Thompson, who told everyone where to look for the omitted data in fraudulent CDC studies that would have showed an association between MMR and autism? The story you refuse to educate yourselves about because you haven’t seen it discussed in the mainstream media, yet?

Vaccines are not effective.
Vaccines can kill you.
Vaccines can maim you.

Educate yourselves.

Your ignorance doesn’t make it less true. #CDCWhistleBlower

I would like to address some of the current #CDCWhistleBlower blips that I am seeing pop up in the news and social media and blogs.

1. “The whistle blower said his words were taken out of context.”
Where exactly did he say that? How do you get that from this:

I have had many discussions  with Dr. Brian Hooker over the last 10 months regarding studies  the CDC has carried out regarding vaccines and neurodevelopmental outcomes including autism spectrum disorders. I share his belief that CDC decision-making and analyses should be transparent. I was not, however, aware that he was recording any of our conversations, nor was I given any choice regarding whether  my name would be made public or my voice would be put on the Internet.

He admitted that it’s his voice in those audios. In no statement has he said that his words were taken out of context, nor does he claim that Brian is editing his statements in any false or manipulative fashion. Instead, he owns his comments. Comments where he expresses regret, remorse, puts forth the biological plausibility of thimerosal causing tics (which is common in autism), says he wouldn’t let his pregnant wife get a thimerosal containing shot, talks of omitting statistically significant data in MORE THAN ONE STUDY, NOT JUST in black babies… etc.

Being recorded without your knowledge doesn’t make your comments ‘out of context” or any less true.

2. “#CDCWhistleBlower”
The hash tag itself.
I’m a bit peeved over this one.  When we, those who want justice for our vaccine injured kids and want susceptible populations identified, open our mouths –we have to be fully informed on a situation because the opposition, those who don’t give a shit about susceptible kids and deny my child’s brain damage even though they’ve never met him, will latch onto any misstep and use it against us.

I am a peeved, because on August 18th I took to twitter using #CDCWhistleBlower –firsties. My Bad. I used that tag because the information was put out to us that we had a whistle blower. Yes, he’s since gone forward and hired a whistle blower attorney… but on Aug 18th, he was not a Whistle Blower. He was a top CDC scientist who did a bad, bad thing and in an effort to sleep at night, confessed to Brian Hooker. I wish the headline would have been “CDC Scientists Admits Fraud”  It would have been one less thing to use against this campaign. But it’s out there now. Whatever.

However, no matter what Thompson ended up “being”,  doesn’t make his statements any less true.

3. Hooker’s Paper Has been retracted.
That old dress?
Sure, it has*, but it’s still online for you to view and you can see for yourself that CDC Scientist William Thompson is right. Do the math for yourself if it makes you happy.
*The paper is still there but there is a retraction article attached to it.

Retracting a study because some pharma shills cried, doesn’t make it any less true.

4. Vaccines are safe.
Those with the biggest hard-ons for vaccines go one step further than the manufacturers themselves. They claim vaccines are safe and they mock people who claim their children were injured by vaccines. (Even the manufacturers admit vaccine injury is very real, why not? It’s not like they can be sued!)
So how come almost 3 Billion has been paid out of the extremely-tough-to-win “vaccine court”?

Vaccine Injury is real. Just because you can’t read, don’t understand anatomy/physiology/biochemistry AND you are a #DoochBag doesn’t make that any less true.

5. Vaccines don’t cause autism. It’s been proven.
a. There has not been ONE STUDY that looks at vaccinated vs. unvaccinated kids. First they claimed it was unethical to do so, to ask some to skip vaccines. We pointed out that there are plenty of us who don’t and a record review could be done, ethically.  The CDC then fired back saying the results wouldn’t give us the full story because parents who don’t vaccinate are also likely to do other things, like eat organic.  Well, guess what, my 10 year old could figure out a way to design this study in about 30 minutes.  GET IT DONE.

Your refusal to do a study, doesn’t mean it’s been done.

b. Vaccines are not studied against placebos. They are looked at for safety vs. other vaccines ‘accepted as safe’. Again, they throw the “unethical” argument at us. “Since vaccines are KNOWN to be safe and effective, it’s unethical to give a control group a placebo and keep them away from life saving vaccines!” *eye brow up*
This is like testing Coke’s affect on blood sugar by comparing it to Pepsi, and then calling it safe for diabetics to drink because Pepsi said they are ‘accepted as safe’ for diabetics, and the effect on people between Coke and Pepsi was the same. Yeah. Stupid.

Your refusal to do a proper study, doesn’t mean it’s been done.

c. There has been no study looking at the WHOLE schedule as it is given.  One 800 mg Motrin, Meh. Eight at once…. not so Meh. Quantity matters. We should look at that.

Your refusal to study the sum effect of the mass vaccination program, doesn’t mean it’s been done.

6. Well, my kid got vaccines and is fine!

Awesome! I am very happy for you.  Mine isn’t.

My child with vaccine induced brain damage grew up along side my friend’s boy, who is typical,  getting most of their shots from the same lots.  My friend and I were pregnant at the same time. We ate the same, lived in the same environment, did most things together. The difference between Gavin and my friends boy? DNA. I believe in a genetic component to autism. But there is no such thing as a genetic epidemic.  GENES are NOT your destiny. Genes MUST BE turned off and on. Mutations cause one body to not function properly where another will.

Thousands of us watched our kids regress and get ill immediately after vaccination. This is a  HUGE collection of anecdotal evidence that deserves PROPER study, AND IS, by the way, the first step in the scientific method.  Observation.

Just because something didn’t happen to YOU, doesn’t mean it can’t happen to ME.

Vaccine injury is REAL. SOME KIDS are regressing and becoming very medically ill after shots. Shouldn’t we care to find out why?  The CDC’s omissions and lies have cost us 15 years of trying to figure out WHY.

EVEN if it’s not vaccines (it is), it is SOMETHING (vaccines), and we owe it to the human race to study it and figure out.

Want to keep your vaccine program intact and keep your herd immunity (which is a myth)? Find out which kids are susceptible. Start with looking at kids with methylation cycle SNPs. THESE ARE VERY COMMON IN AUTISM! Our kids aren’t making energy properly. They are not breaking down and processing nutrients properly. They are not detoxing properly. And before you try to say that that is the answer alone, again: genes need to be triggered, and I know plenty of siblings with mutations and NO autism (they were NOT VACCINATED).

JUST because you don’t understand something, doesn’t mean other people don’t.

7. You don’t know Autism.
Autism is the sum of it’s parts.

I say again… “Autism” is NOT one thing. This might be why it’s so hard for the average person to understand that vaccines can cause autism.
It IS biologically plausible.
Autism is a label, that is slapped on a box, that contains a list of “features or symptoms”

Those “features” (like tics, for example, which CDC Scientist William Thompson believes and states are linked to thimerosal exposure, also saying, ““There is biologic plausibility right now to say that thimerosal causes autism-like features.”) and symptoms ARE found on the table of injuries that ARE compensatable vaccine injuries under the NVICP.

Speech and Language issues? Hey! I went to college for that! I remember one class discussion about apraxia in kids. The professor said it’s controversial because, in adults, apraxia is caused by brain injury… and when it presents in kids there is no brain injury.
SAYS WHO?
Vaccines cause encephalopathies. This is a well know, admitted and compensatable vaccine induced BRAIN injury. Hello?

Your ignorance as to what autism is, and what the symptoms and features are and how they may, biologically, be induced… does not make the vaccine/autism link untrue.

Your refusal to learn the facts, read for yourself, and stop and think doesn’t make any of the following less true:

1. Thompson admitted to Brain Hooker, on audio tape, to omitting data linking an increase in autism to black boys who get an MMR shot before 36 months. That studies on tics and thimerosal were altered. That studies showing MMR was linked to “isolated autism” were altered to water down the results… [something they’ve done before, information we’ve known about for years! (thimerosal, Verstraeten, Simpsonwood –Read RFK Jrs work on this)]

These are three examples that we know of so far. Congressman Posey’s office is currently wading through a crap ton of documents turned over to them from CDC SCIENTIST WILLIAM THOMPSON.

2. Autism is a collection of symptoms that are known vaccines injuries.

3. There are OBVIOUSLY children who are predisposed to vaccine injury and we, as a society of human beings ought to find out who they are and why.

4. That a court case is going forward right now with TWO internal REAL Honest-to-Goodness Whistle Blowers from inside Merck, suing Merck over lies they told about the efficacy of their MMR vaccines.

5.  cdcmeme3

6. There are a LOT of people out there who stand to lose a LOT of money AND go to jail (I’m looking at you Coleen 😉 Julie 😉 ) when the truth about vaccines comes out. I have to wonder why the average American is so willing to put their child’s health up on the alter to be sacrificed for those people.

7. The Vaccine Question has NOT been Answered, yet.
#NotAnsweredYet

8. All this has happened. CDC Whistle Blower Time Line.