Keto Sausage Gravy. GFCFSF

I just had a religious experience… so much so I am writing this blog post as I stand in my kitchen because I can’t wait to share it with you.

I first learned of sausage gravy when I moved south to Fort Polk, Louisiana back in my Army days. I was pretty sure that sausage gravy was the reason I had to run 5 miles a day and spend an hour lifting in the gym just to stay “fat”.  Little did I know it was the biscuits and sugar and grains…. But even still, traditional gravy has dairy and wheat.

I posted on Facebook yesterday about wanting to find a clean version and my friend Heather posted a link to my favorite food blogger’s website. Of course, Maria, over at Keto Adapted would have the answer. If you don’t follow her, you are missing out.

Now, as usual, nothing goes to plan in my kitchen. For coconut cream I buy a can of coconut milk that is not blended… if you shake it in the store and don’t hear the sound of liquid sloshing around, that is what you want. It’s separated… coconut “water” on the bottom and the solid cream is on top.

The can I bought didn’t make a noise, but wasn’t completely separated. So I made some adjustments. First, I had bought a full pound of sausage (hot, I love me some heat). That all went in the pan. Upon discovery of the coconut milk, I ended up just pouring the whole can in, and as such, only used 1/4 cup of chicken broth. Also, it seemed to be taking a long time to thicken b/c of the extra liquid, and I happened to have about two tablespoons of Dayia “cream cheese” left, so I threw that in as well. Still, it was taking too long to thicken, So I added about two tablespoons of almond flour. Toss in a ton of pepper and salt, and a nice heap of Adobo… #BecauseAdobo duh…
and simmer until thick. I made sure to put extra coconut oil all over everything on my plate to boost the fat/protein ratio, too.

AMAZING.

I skipped the biscuits this time because I didn’t want the extra carbs (er… because I may have drank a hard cider already today 😉 )
And hot damn.

Next time I make it, I’m going to follow Maria’s directions exactly, except split a pound of sausage to cut back on the protein a little more. I’m extra sensitive… too much protein and my weight loss halts.

Anyway, it’s Sunday… go with God… and God be some keto sausage gravy. 😉

I think this song is appropriate

Cabbage ‘Noodles’

So you are a recovering sugar addict now on a grain free diet, yet you were raised Italian and miss pasta? Hey! Me too!

Two words, bitches: Cabbage Noodles.
They are easy. Cut a small head of cabbage in half for two people (no left overs, so second helpings won’t be a temptation!).
Slice it up, and the slice up the slices into strips.

(Click on photos to enlarge)

So, partly that is a small head of cabbage, and partly I have giant hands and super long fingers. Great for flipping people off.

Now, be sure to snack on handfuls of raw cabbage while you wait for the water to boil.

Noms.

Boil it for about 5 minutes until the cabbage is starting to turn translucent.  I say no longer. You want some crunch, you don’t want soggy mush.

In the meantime this was happening in another pan:

I used to make sweet and hot sauce with lots of sugar. Broke the sugar in my sauce habit… but didn’t leave behind the heat. Lots of red pepper flakes and jalapenos in this batch.

Then this happened:

I swear to you, it’s even better than pasta.
Give it a go.  Gavin’s not a fan, this is how he rolls:

Lettuce wraps

So make some cabbage noodles and let me know how you like it.