Tag Archives: Andrew Wakefield

Why I voted for Trump, and why you should get over it.

I know I’ve been quite MIA, but brain fog and exhaustion kinda rule my world these days. I have forced myself to sit in front of the computer today to bring you this post. I’m tired of rolling my eyes in reply to the issue I’m going to discuss, without having the energy to put the sentiment in a comment. So here is my reply.

The issue: Just how dumb us autism families are who voted for Trump.
‘God bless our tiny pinheads’ according to the internet and some of my very own friends. ‘SMH, how can they be so dumb, and they are living it!’  Articles float around from every major news source about just how awful Trump is going to be for us (Which, is actually Main Stream Media code for “Trump is going to be so awful for our pharma ad revenues” –because, really, main stream media didn’t give a damn about us before Trump, and they seriously do not give a damn now).

Here’s the thing… just how great did Obama make my life? Over his 8 years I saw services cut left and right. I saw a man enter the Presidency who was cautious about vaccines, who later backtracked with his condescending “Look,” (grrr I hate that) ‘trust the CDC, get the vaccines.’ Our lives didn’t get better under Obama. Things are actually worse for ME and MY SON. Obama did nothing for autism. No help. No help for adults. No plan for the oncoming tsunami of adults who need 24/7 care. No real effort to end the crisis. Nothing. He ignored the CDC Whistle Blower, he turned a blind eye. He is complicit in this mess.

Yes, I voted for Trump. A decision I made last minute. I was aware that Trump knew vaccines caused autism, but he hadn’t spoken of any plans to do anything about it. There was my hesitation. Up until a week before the election I was still the idiot bashing my Trump voting friends, just like some in the community continue to do. But Levi Quackenboss published a blog post a few days before the election that changed my mind. Levi told us of meetings between Trump & Wakefield. I trust Levi. It changed my mind.

Maybe Trump’s cuts in office will affect middle and upper class America. But, hate to be telling you how voting works, I didn’t think twice about them when I voted. I voted for me. I voted for my son. Our lives truly cannot get any worse. If they did it would mean that I am homeless and at that point with nothing to lose, I would camp out in front of my state capitol building.

Our country is on the track toward collapse, however –we simply cannot pay for the damage done to two generations of kids at this point. Maybe I’d shed a tear for the middle and upper classes a little bit if the vast majority had listened to me and my tribe for the past two decades as we shouted from the rooftops, “VACCINES ARE CAUSING AUTISM!” “Injecting BABIES with MERCURY is STUPID!” We tried to warn you. The chickens are comin’ home, my dear tens of tens of readers. 😉

So, there I was with a choice between the candidate who was a status-quo-pharma-ho and the one who doesn’t give a shit what you think, beholden to no one but his own ego*, and knows that vaccines cause autism.  There was really no contest. (*I say that with love in my heart. No judgement.)

And so far… my vote, has paid me back. President Elect Trump just appointed Robert Kennedy Jr to head up a vaccine safety commission.

Kennedy knows, and has the science to prove that vaccines caused my son’s autism (you all have the science too, just read it). He speaks of justice. To me, justice is compensation. Kennedy knows that the NVICP is useless. Kennedy knows that my son deserves justice for his brain damage, and that the people responsible need to face the consequences. That is WHY I voted for Trump. He’s done MORE for ‘autism’ (and the viability of this nation going forward) this past week than any president before him. And if you don’t think this is a ‘viability of a nation’ issue, then you haven’t been paying attention.

Oh, I know what some of you are thinking, “Silly girl, vaccines don’t cause autism, there is no study that links it! Bless your little pinhead!” To that I say… *eye roll* If you still say that… If you still believe there is no link, then hear this well, your ignorance is embarrassing. There is no excuse in 2017 to not know the facts.

Yes, I am living it. Yes, I voted for Trump, with good reason, and I am not sorry. And I’m not stupid. And I’m not a hillbilly. And I’m not racist. All things I ignorantly and emotionally said about Trump voters just a couple months ago. And you voted for Clinton, or Gary or Mickey Mouse, or no one. It was your right, it was my right. If we learn anything from this election, let it be that we need to work with our differences. And judging someone, calling them foolish, because they didn’t vote with YOUR best interests in mind, is pretty douchey.

Here is the fun part. I’m going to start a “Trump-o-meter” a… “Trumpstruction Report” um… a “Has Trump made my life better or worse” tally…. As you can see, I can’t settle on a name for it yet, but whatever we decide to call it (ideas?), it will run for Trump’s 4 years and it will document if having Trump in office has made our lives with autism better or worse. And I will be honest, because this is my brain-damaged, life-robbed, son we’re talking about. So far, we’re up. He’s not even in office yet and I have a promise a vaccine safety commission, led by a brilliant man who has the proof that vaccines cause autism.

So watch for that page coming soon to the website.

Yes, I am living it. I’ve been living it for 18 years and 11 months. I’ve been ignored. Marginalized. Called crazy, desperate, anti-science (oh, the fucking irony!). A lost cause. Now my team is up and the rest of you are just going to have to brace yourselves to accept the reality you’ve been denying for decades.

Fun Fact: Jimmy Stewart had mercury dropped directly onto his vocal cords for his ‘worn out’ voice in this filibuster scene.

As always, gold stars to those who point out my typos.

Your ignorance doesn’t make it less true. #CDCWhistleBlower

I would like to address some of the current #CDCWhistleBlower blips that I am seeing pop up in the news and social media and blogs.

1. “The whistle blower said his words were taken out of context.”
Where exactly did he say that? How do you get that from this:

I have had many discussions  with Dr. Brian Hooker over the last 10 months regarding studies  the CDC has carried out regarding vaccines and neurodevelopmental outcomes including autism spectrum disorders. I share his belief that CDC decision-making and analyses should be transparent. I was not, however, aware that he was recording any of our conversations, nor was I given any choice regarding whether  my name would be made public or my voice would be put on the Internet.

He admitted that it’s his voice in those audios. In no statement has he said that his words were taken out of context, nor does he claim that Brian is editing his statements in any false or manipulative fashion. Instead, he owns his comments. Comments where he expresses regret, remorse, puts forth the biological plausibility of thimerosal causing tics (which is common in autism), says he wouldn’t let his pregnant wife get a thimerosal containing shot, talks of omitting statistically significant data in MORE THAN ONE STUDY, NOT JUST in black babies… etc.

Being recorded without your knowledge doesn’t make your comments ‘out of context” or any less true.

2. “#CDCWhistleBlower”
The hash tag itself.
I’m a bit peeved over this one.  When we, those who want justice for our vaccine injured kids and want susceptible populations identified, open our mouths –we have to be fully informed on a situation because the opposition, those who don’t give a shit about susceptible kids and deny my child’s brain damage even though they’ve never met him, will latch onto any misstep and use it against us.

I am a peeved, because on August 18th I took to twitter using #CDCWhistleBlower –firsties. My Bad. I used that tag because the information was put out to us that we had a whistle blower. Yes, he’s since gone forward and hired a whistle blower attorney… but on Aug 18th, he was not a Whistle Blower. He was a top CDC scientist who did a bad, bad thing and in an effort to sleep at night, confessed to Brian Hooker. I wish the headline would have been “CDC Scientists Admits Fraud”  It would have been one less thing to use against this campaign. But it’s out there now. Whatever.

However, no matter what Thompson ended up “being”,  doesn’t make his statements any less true.

3. Hooker’s Paper Has been retracted.
That old dress?
Sure, it has*, but it’s still online for you to view and you can see for yourself that CDC Scientist William Thompson is right. Do the math for yourself if it makes you happy.
*The paper is still there but there is a retraction article attached to it.

Retracting a study because some pharma shills cried, doesn’t make it any less true.

4. Vaccines are safe.
Those with the biggest hard-ons for vaccines go one step further than the manufacturers themselves. They claim vaccines are safe and they mock people who claim their children were injured by vaccines. (Even the manufacturers admit vaccine injury is very real, why not? It’s not like they can be sued!)
So how come almost 3 Billion has been paid out of the extremely-tough-to-win “vaccine court”?

Vaccine Injury is real. Just because you can’t read, don’t understand anatomy/physiology/biochemistry AND you are a #DoochBag doesn’t make that any less true.

5. Vaccines don’t cause autism. It’s been proven.
a. There has not been ONE STUDY that looks at vaccinated vs. unvaccinated kids. First they claimed it was unethical to do so, to ask some to skip vaccines. We pointed out that there are plenty of us who don’t and a record review could be done, ethically.  The CDC then fired back saying the results wouldn’t give us the full story because parents who don’t vaccinate are also likely to do other things, like eat organic.  Well, guess what, my 10 year old could figure out a way to design this study in about 30 minutes.  GET IT DONE.

Your refusal to do a study, doesn’t mean it’s been done.

b. Vaccines are not studied against placebos. They are looked at for safety vs. other vaccines ‘accepted as safe’. Again, they throw the “unethical” argument at us. “Since vaccines are KNOWN to be safe and effective, it’s unethical to give a control group a placebo and keep them away from life saving vaccines!” *eye brow up*
This is like testing Coke’s affect on blood sugar by comparing it to Pepsi, and then calling it safe for diabetics to drink because Pepsi said they are ‘accepted as safe’ for diabetics, and the effect on people between Coke and Pepsi was the same. Yeah. Stupid.

Your refusal to do a proper study, doesn’t mean it’s been done.

c. There has been no study looking at the WHOLE schedule as it is given.  One 800 mg Motrin, Meh. Eight at once…. not so Meh. Quantity matters. We should look at that.

Your refusal to study the sum effect of the mass vaccination program, doesn’t mean it’s been done.

6. Well, my kid got vaccines and is fine!

Awesome! I am very happy for you.  Mine isn’t.

My child with vaccine induced brain damage grew up along side my friend’s boy, who is typical,  getting most of their shots from the same lots.  My friend and I were pregnant at the same time. We ate the same, lived in the same environment, did most things together. The difference between Gavin and my friends boy? DNA. I believe in a genetic component to autism. But there is no such thing as a genetic epidemic.  GENES are NOT your destiny. Genes MUST BE turned off and on. Mutations cause one body to not function properly where another will.

Thousands of us watched our kids regress and get ill immediately after vaccination. This is a  HUGE collection of anecdotal evidence that deserves PROPER study, AND IS, by the way, the first step in the scientific method.  Observation.

Just because something didn’t happen to YOU, doesn’t mean it can’t happen to ME.

Vaccine injury is REAL. SOME KIDS are regressing and becoming very medically ill after shots. Shouldn’t we care to find out why?  The CDC’s omissions and lies have cost us 15 years of trying to figure out WHY.

EVEN if it’s not vaccines (it is), it is SOMETHING (vaccines), and we owe it to the human race to study it and figure out.

Want to keep your vaccine program intact and keep your herd immunity (which is a myth)? Find out which kids are susceptible. Start with looking at kids with methylation cycle SNPs. THESE ARE VERY COMMON IN AUTISM! Our kids aren’t making energy properly. They are not breaking down and processing nutrients properly. They are not detoxing properly. And before you try to say that that is the answer alone, again: genes need to be triggered, and I know plenty of siblings with mutations and NO autism (they were NOT VACCINATED).

JUST because you don’t understand something, doesn’t mean other people don’t.

7. You don’t know Autism.
Autism is the sum of it’s parts.

I say again… “Autism” is NOT one thing. This might be why it’s so hard for the average person to understand that vaccines can cause autism.
It IS biologically plausible.
Autism is a label, that is slapped on a box, that contains a list of “features or symptoms”

Those “features” (like tics, for example, which CDC Scientist William Thompson believes and states are linked to thimerosal exposure, also saying, ““There is biologic plausibility right now to say that thimerosal causes autism-like features.”) and symptoms ARE found on the table of injuries that ARE compensatable vaccine injuries under the NVICP.

Speech and Language issues? Hey! I went to college for that! I remember one class discussion about apraxia in kids. The professor said it’s controversial because, in adults, apraxia is caused by brain injury… and when it presents in kids there is no brain injury.
Vaccines cause encephalopathies. This is a well know, admitted and compensatable vaccine induced BRAIN injury. Hello?

Your ignorance as to what autism is, and what the symptoms and features are and how they may, biologically, be induced… does not make the vaccine/autism link untrue.

Your refusal to learn the facts, read for yourself, and stop and think doesn’t make any of the following less true:

1. Thompson admitted to Brain Hooker, on audio tape, to omitting data linking an increase in autism to black boys who get an MMR shot before 36 months. That studies on tics and thimerosal were altered. That studies showing MMR was linked to “isolated autism” were altered to water down the results… [something they’ve done before, information we’ve known about for years! (thimerosal, Verstraeten, Simpsonwood –Read RFK Jrs work on this)]

These are three examples that we know of so far. Congressman Posey’s office is currently wading through a crap ton of documents turned over to them from CDC SCIENTIST WILLIAM THOMPSON.

2. Autism is a collection of symptoms that are known vaccines injuries.

3. There are OBVIOUSLY children who are predisposed to vaccine injury and we, as a society of human beings ought to find out who they are and why.

4. That a court case is going forward right now with TWO internal REAL Honest-to-Goodness Whistle Blowers from inside Merck, suing Merck over lies they told about the efficacy of their MMR vaccines.

5.  cdcmeme3

6. There are a LOT of people out there who stand to lose a LOT of money AND go to jail (I’m looking at you Coleen 😉 Julie 😉 ) when the truth about vaccines comes out. I have to wonder why the average American is so willing to put their child’s health up on the alter to be sacrificed for those people.

7. The Vaccine Question has NOT been Answered, yet.

8. All this has happened. CDC Whistle Blower Time Line.



Guest Blog: Dr. Andrew Wakefield, You Owe Zeddy an Apology

[Today I have a guest post from David Anderson.  I first learned about Glutamate from David. Really, he saved what little was left of my brain by warning me off the stuff. I since learned that both my autistic son and I have several GAD gene mutations and that helps to explain my reactions to foods high in glutamate –such reactions include seizures and feeling like I’ve been hit by a truck. I ate some TJ’s seaweed snacks a few weeks ago and couldn’t get out of bed the next day.  If you have an autistic child, especially one with seizures you need to learn all you can about glutamate, start here. This book is a must read as well. –and no matter who you are, You NEED to read this post by David. –Jenny]

Just your name in this title will cause even some of my closest friends to not read beyond it.  Which is the entire point of this open letter to you which could end in one sentence:  you have marred the revelations of the last two weeks with regard to CDC data manipulation that erased a correlation between Autism and vaccines with the stain of your perceived charlatanism and made this fight harder to fight for all of us.  And I’m not happy with you.

I did not arrive in the vaccine-safety camp through your research.  I, like the rest of the world, thought you a discredited hack.  In a world where perception is reality, that is what you are whether that label be fair or not.  And I actually do believe it’s unfair.  But your research did not influence my decision not to vaccinate my youngest, my son Caspar, born after Autism had already claimed his older brother Zeddy.  Jenny McCarthy had nothing to do whatsoever with that decision.  Natural News, Dr. Mercola, Dr. Oz had NOTHING to do with that decision.  Nor did I assume any confidence to be had in studies saying that they were safe.  My wife and I, two whip-smart Middlebury graduates with a combined IQ of somewhere just south of 300 with 3 graduate degrees between us looked strictly at the numbers when deciding what to do to protect our youngest from the same fate as his brother.  The rate of Autism at the time was still reportedly 1 in 150, though you and I both know that when the CDC catches up to his birth year of 2008 it’s going to be revised closer to 1 in 30.  Yet the rate of a repeat of Autism in a family with children on the spectrum was somewhere between 1 in 8 and 1 in 12.  We were quite certain that some environmental trigger played a role in Zeddy’s disappearance from the socio-emotional, conversational world of which he was a part until 1 year of age, while still willing to accept that a genetic component may be making our children susceptible to whatever the environmental insult was.  We decided to raise Caspar in as close to an 1850 universe as we could.  Something out there that wasn’t out there 150 years ago was doing this to the world’s children, and until anyone could say exactly what it was, everything was a potential candidate.  We bought organic everything.  Organic clothes. No meds.  No creams.  No fluoride.  And we had to make a decision about no vaccines.  Again, we looked at the numbers.  Of everything we vaccinate against, the most likely of the contractible diseases for Caspar to come across was Whooping Cough.  His odds of catching it looked to be about 1 in 330 and that number was taken from the peak of WC infection at the beginning of the 20th century I believe.  Even then, his odds of actually dying from it were a single digit percent of that after-the-decimal digit percent.  His odds of Autism were at best 1 in 12.  If you handed me a 330-sided die and 12-sided die and told me not to roll a 1, which would you choose if you were me?  Because, had I the choice of a paralyzed-from-polio Zeddy over the child he is now or the adult he will be, one who will never have a friend, a romantic partner, a conversation about the weather, who will never live an unsupervised moment of his life and who may indeed one day find a way over our 420 feet of six foot fence, find a body of water and drown and die as so many of his kind do, I’d take Polio.  He’d at least be able to tell me about his day, read, wipe his ass properly. I’d take death from Whooping Cough over a life sentence where he stands to live his last decades after we die alone, unkissed, unloved, ignored, visited periodically to wipe the shit from his ass, and even possibly abused.  A predator has no better victim than one unable to identify his assailant, report what happened to him, even say his name.  I didn’t vaccinate because statistically in a world where no one can definitively tell me what happened to Zeddy, I chose a path for Caspar that gave him his best odds of coming out the other side and I did this based on my experience, and raw epidemiological data.  And even still, my wife got her flu shot when she was pregnant with Caspar.  We kept a healthy dose of skepticism in our choices on both sides of the vaccine debate.  We believed that vaccinating her was safe*.

It was at five months of age that we saw the first trouble with Caspar.  Upon the introduction of solid foods, he conspicuously lost the rudimentary oral-motor and joint-attention skills he was only just beginning to develop.  My wife and I both noticed it.  He went from a baby who would raspberry for your attention and “talk” to you that way for 10 minutes to one whose mouth hung open and whose only sounds were closed, velar drones.  Now there is no clinical data on these events because there really are no hard and fast benchmarks for babies that age.  You can’t get them evaluated by Early Intervention agencies because there’s not enough of anything to go on at 5 months to say that this is a significant delay or significant at all or a regression.  All Ariane and I could do was apply a scientific process of “what changed,” eliminate that change and see what happened.  Taking him back to just breast feeding, his oral-motor and joint attention skills returned after 4 days.  And he kept them, all the way to the next attempt at solid food a month later.  For the next three months, on the advice of medical professionals at Columbia Presbyterian, Roosevelt, in private practice — all of whom would call our observations “compelling” — we tried different solids to see if there was a course of feeding that didn’t result in our infant’s mind and mouth being anesthetized.  With every effort he regressed again.  With every elimination and a return to breast milk the skills came back.  He had to relearn them.  They were weak, but they would get strong again until the next solid food.  When after a meal of blended pork tenderloin (on the advice of the gastroenterologist we saw at CP) my son looked at me with lit up eyes, put his tongue between his lips, tried to spit, failed, crossed his eyes, looked to his mouth with AWARENESS of what he could not do, that’s when I was done with doctors and decided to get answers for myself.

I went to numbers.  The University of Denmark had available a database with the total nutritional content of 1000’s of foods.  These are not your typical FDA labels.  They list not just raw protein content but break down WHICH proteins, which amino acids, are present in different foods in different concentrations.  Over the course of three sleepless nights, I found that Caspar’s food options to that point had as a common denominator what seemed to be high levels of glutamate.  For my uninitiated friends who are still with me to this point, glutamate is a non-essential amino acid, meaning you can live without it because you can synthesize from some of the other 8 essential amino acids that you must consume to stay alive.  Glutamate functions as your primary neurotransmitter meaning that every breath you take, every memory you record, every blink, every impulse, every messengered thing that passes through the brain travels on the back of a glutamate molecule.  It’s how neurons fire.  It’s also been known since the 50’s to be an excitotoxin and that too much of it, a build-up of it if you will, causes dendritic contraction and neuronal death.  So when I saw glutamate, learned what it was and how too much of it can be a bad thing for some, I decided to compare the glutamate content of rice, oats, pork, etc. to the glutamate content of the food Caspar seemed to be fine on: breastmilk.  Matching the labels on the numbers (and we’ll go with ‘n’ for the purposes of demonstration) the glutamate content of breast milk came in at 22n.  The glutamate content of rice came in around 1500n.  And that was the lowest value of the foods I’d researched after having fed them to Caspar.  Then I thought of my at-the-time screaming-and-in-crisis-24/7 son Zeddy with a long evaluative paper trail of no gains in 3 years and wondered just how much glutamate he might be eating.  Wheat: 9000n.  Cheese: 10000n.  MSG(lutamate) laden chinese take-out dumplings: do I need to?  Gelatin: 11000.  Peanut butter: 7000.  Soy: 5000. His only low glutamate foods were bananas and blueberries.  Everything else was a paper weight’s worth of the neurological equivalent of jet fuel. Holy shit, I thought. These fad diet approaches cut a lot of that out.  Is that what’s up?  This seems like something I’ve both heard of before and yet not seen anyone try on this level of awareness.  How do I cut out glutamate?  Well, I did.  And the clinical, third-party, blindly collected data of his own ABA-SEIT shows exactly what we saw: a transformed Zeddy who was emotionally regulated and making rapid cognitive gains, though rapid in the context of effectively 0 since 12 months of age.  Caspar started crawling, calling me dada, playing patty-cake in that same 4 day window after taking glutamate away from his mother.  There was a renaissance in my home that was the first hope we’d felt in 5 years.

At this point, everyone who knew Zeddy from his family to the professionals that worked with him could see a shift.  You can’t tell us at this point that glutamate bombs are good for him.  Our observations were compelling enough to get New York’s arguably most respected physician in the field of Autism research, Dr. Isabel Rapin, to order 48 hour EEGs on both our boys to try and document brain signaling changes caused by concentrated glutamate ingestion — she ultimately said of the EEG results that it may have been too blunt an instrument to pick up what we were looking for and urged me to bring our kids to another researcher for the sole reason that she was approaching 90 and too old to see this line of inquiry through.  While Caspar’s EEG was within normal limits, he projectile vomited the jello we tried to feed him (but kept soy milk down shortly after) and spent the next 48 hours unable to stand stably. She believed us.

So maintaing the glutamate-is-bad line, I looked for other sources.  I found Aspartame as the body converts less useful aspartate to glutamate.  I found cigarette smoke that contains ammonia, also converted to glutamate by the body.  And then I landed in a place I never went looking for.  Every vaccine, every dose, every booster, all of them are made of hydrolyzed gelatin.  Gelatin is made of glutamate and glycine.  And my Zeddy had gelatin shot into his body every 2 months, every 4 months, every 6 months, every year of his life in decreasing frequency, yes, but if the principle of immune boosting to the point of permanent immunity is true for MMR, did my Zeddy also learn to attack the components of gelatin? My boy with his swollen head who can’t speak, or couldn’t until I cut his raw glutamate intake down to effectively nothing.  To this point I was ready to accept that my boys might have some as yet undiscovered genetic disease like PKU.  Phenylalanine is an essential amino acid.  All babies are tested for PKU because some of them are making whacked-out enzymes that metabolize phenylalanine improperly and turn it into a brain toxin.  That exists.  That’s on every can of Diet Coke.  Zeddy might have GKU, if you will.  But when I realized he had gelatin shot into him with militarized regularity, I wondered if his genetically-predisposed aggressive, effective, efficient, 1-billion-years-of-evolution-surviving immune system didn’t learn exactly what it was taught. To my great disappointment, I learned that no one is really looking at this common-sense, layman’s line of reasoning.   But one way or another, you can not tell me that my sons’ glutamate problem isn’t real, isn’t treatable, and you certainly can’t tell me it’s a good idea to shoot it into their bodies.

When Caspar became more developed, making more of his own glutamate in more sophisticated responses to his world, he regressed again as we expected.  While he had never himself had an immunization, we had to wonder if that flu shot his mother had was enough to set off a sensitivity in him.  When he finally became old enough to be far enough behind to ring that Early Intervention bell, he failed with flying colors upon evaluation — both a neurodevelopmental medical one and a behavioral one conducted by the city.  He lost words, had more and more trouble saying a word he was trying to repeat, he stopped responding to his name all at 15 months.  The living ghost of his older brother. While working with his appointed therapist, daily logs were kept of his progress.  Without her knowledge and in the interest of sound if crude scientific method, we manipulated his glutamate levels.  She documented a month long decline in his skills as we turned up the glutamate and an instantaneous resurgence of skills and further development shortly after we yanked it away.  Doing what we do for them is bankrupting financially.  We had to be sure what we were doing was worth it.  And I have paper, right now, downstairs, in my smelly basement, on BOTH boys that shows that it works. I am happy to report that today, Caspar is a bright, creative, socially fluent though conspicuously lispy 6-year-old, neurotypical child without Autism.  And we do it by avoiding glutamate.  And as a side note, we find it fascinating that our 6-year-old has never, not for one day of his life, had a fever.  Colds, sure.  Sick? Never.  He’s the only kid I know with perfect attendance through two years of unvaccinated pre-K and one unvaccinated year of Kindergarten.

As I said above, my line of reasoning in terms of causation (and, potentially, legitimized medical exemption from vaccination) has never been carried out by the CDC or a reputable institution of higher learning.  And it will never be so long as society, and my friends being my exponentializing conduit to that society, continue to hold the line of there being “no correlation” between vaccination and Autism.  We’ve been told it’s a dead end and therefore any inquiry into Autism causation that intersects with vaccines is a non-starter.  Where there is no correlation, investigations of causation are pointless. Yet now, a party to the line that “autism and vaccines aren’t correlated” has said that there EXISTS evidence that they are.  And no one is hearing that.  It’s enough to have to overcome groupthink.  But you have very unwisely chosen to appoint yourself the banner-carrier in these revelations.  We’ve been told that you’re the monster who started a debate that threatens to kill the whole world.  No one should listen to you.  That’s the spirit of today’s discourse.  I have met you.  I have shaken your hand, Dr. Wakefield.  I have listened to you speak on this subject and there is no doubt in my mind, whatsoever, that a man can not fake the kind of real commitment to a real cause that you really do have.  I believe that as a gastroenterologist and not a neurologist that you stumbled onto something huge.  I believe that you were also very naive to think that you could simply publish something with the implications it had and not suffer a backlash.  I think you also made a rush to publish motivated by the appetite for notoriety, credit, Nobels? The current problem is the same problem you had in the past.  You are sloppy, Dr. Wakefield.  And your fatal flaw is hubris.

Your name is poison, however unfair that may be.  Most people do not know that it was not the data in your study that was disproven.  Most people do not know that you have real biopsies of real tissue with real active measles from real stomachs taken from real children.  Most people do not know that it was a conflict of interest that you failed to disclose that impugned your results.  They don’t know that this study (which wasn’t a “study” and not held to the same rigors but is a split-hair that no non-scientist has the capacity to care about) was paid for by lawyers looking to sue vaccine companies.  They don’t know anything about you other than that you’re the devil.  No, it’s not fair.  But you were sloppy.  You gave them the ammunition with which they assassinated your character.  Given the stakes of what you had to report, you had a duty to do it right, free of blemish and you failed.  And fair or not, it’s the fact of your public perception.  To have headlined this latest news, and moreover to have participated in the deceit of a man, Dr. Thompson at the CDC, who by all appearances is a sincere, genuine, scientifically-responsible man… to record him without his knowledge and then to editorialize and tell us what, how to think of all this in a high-production value, restore-my-name, teen-aged-bully-youtube/facebook OUT-ing while being who know yourself to be in the public eye.. you have made this fight harder to win for all of us.  This is not about restoring your name.  This is about millions, MILLIONS of children living and yet-to-be born who will live institutionalized, financially and emotionally eviscerating lives.  This is about Zeddy.  And you standing at the front of this simply ensures that there is more that the world at large will all never know.  You took the low road to bring these truths to light and have tainted it for all of us.  You are only slightly better than the infamous Poul Thorsen; you will not derive the millions he did after authoring “safe” vaccine studies, selling those same vaccines to the US government, embezzling millions from the funds designated to research those vaccines, and disappearing to some volcanic atoll somewhere as an international fugitive – those are facts, even if no one knows them.  You’ve done this to restore your good name.  Your good name is a lesser, and by your own choices maybe lost, cause.  I will carry your banner no longer.  And you will not carry mine.

Because you headlined this release of secret audio tape, most people will never listen to what Dr. Thompson said to Brian Hooker — the grandest of ironies, you had nothing directly to do with his admissions; you inserted yourself in post-production. Thompson knew BETTER than to talk to you but rather to another Autism researcher still clinging to a thread of credibility, clearly forfeited, when he got into bed with you for what plays like a salacious exposé. They will not hear the urgency, the scientific passion, the unambiguity with which Thompson lists the reasons thimerosol in flu vaccines is a bad idea.  They will never hear his incredulity at the fact that we put these shots in pregnant women.  They will never understand that while you might be able to edit words to say what you want them to say, you can not edit together the emotions with which things are said. They will not even hear his admission that the voice is his, that the conversations took place, that the CDC omitted “significant” data.  They won’t hear his commitment to vaccines, to their safety, their study, their transparency.  They won’t hear his intellectual curiosity.  They won’t hear that the author of a study that people cite as case-closed evidence is actually saying to the world that the case isn’t closed.  Hubris, Dr. Wakefield.  Your personal interests that hung up the study that began all this in 1998 have laid another impediment at the most crucial time in our kind’s history.  You fucked up.  It’s a pattern. You attached your black name to a clandestine effort to get someone in-the-know on the illegally-recorded record and stand to get it all thrown out after injunction.  You are setting us back.  If you want your medical license back within your own lifetime, I quite earnestly urge you as an until-now sympathizer to STFU.  And let us do the fighting for our kids and play this out in your lifetime.

Which brings me to my conclusion.  I have tagged everyone I know on this update.  I earnestly want real answers to real questions.  I want you to believe the author of your studies that once said there was no connection when he says, no, there very well MIGHT be a connection.  I want to distance myself from so-called charlatans and demonstrate to you my reasoning, my self-arrived-at, unbiased research and experience.  I want the credibility any one of you afforded me in the 30 years you’ve known me back.  And I want you to get mad about what’s happening now.  I want you to care that boys like my Zeddy didn’t have to be the boys they are.  I want you to demand truth. I want you to see your stake in validating, questioning, refining the data that tells you you are safe from autoimmune disease when you are vaccinated.  I want you to use your own brains and read, listen, arrive at your own conclusions the way I have with an open mind. One of your government scientists is telling you, has admitted, does not deny that the questions are still unanswered where vaccines and ASD are concerned.  I am beating a drum.  Please, beat it with me.


*[Added by Jenny: This video has since been released where William W. Thompson, CDC ‘whistle blower’, discusses giving mercury to pregnant women. It’s a must see, 1 minute long video:

Troll Food, ’cause random strangers know your kid better than you do.

[Be sure to watch the video at the end. We all need to keep laughing. It’s important. We’d lose our minds otherwise.]
I know we really shouldn’t feed the trolls, but frankly I felt like I needed a link to post to them instead of my usual image which is:


So why not feed them a little knowledge. Not sure it’s possible with these idiots, but if I save one moron… well… Then there is only about 7 billion more to go.


I woke up to this tweet this morning:

With my reply. Enjoy the typo. Hadn’t even had my morning coffee. if* not is, of course.

It doesn’t even matter to you trolling idiots that William Thompson actually admitted manipulating data to hide the MMR/Autism link in a press release through his lawyer. A lawyer who specializes in whistle blower cases.

First off, who says Snopes is the end-all of fucking everything?
Read this.
And “The Mikkelsons admit, however, that Snopes is only as reliable as the sources it cites, and they invite readers to look for the truth themselves.”
When you people use Snopes as  your argument you just prove our point –Most Americans are lazy and can’t be bothered to read for themselves.

Since you all appear to be too fucking lazy to read the press release, allow me to copy and paste for you.

“I regret that my coauthors and I omitted statistically significant information  in our 2004 article published in the journal Pediatrics. The omitted data suggested that African American males who received the MMR vaccine before age 36 months were at increased  risk for autism. Decisions were made regarding which findings to report after the data were collected, and I believe that the final study protocol was not followed.”

Is that simple enough for you? Hey Snopes, It’s NOT “Probably False” anymore. [Update: Now listed as ‘mixed’ on Snopes. Of course it’s funny that the ‘mix’ comes from them quoting that douche on ‘Science Blogs’ *eye roll*]
[Second UPDATE: It now reads FALSE. WTF are they smoking? –Read this iReport about it]

Wrap your head around the fact that his lawyer ALLOWED him to SAY that. While the Press Release does reek of ‘lawyered-up’ you have to see it for what it is –for what his lawyer actually allowed to be said. You realize what lawyers do right? Trust me, I once went to law school for a whole year and then dropped out. (Thanks Autism! –and trust me, you learn everything in the first year. The last two are just hazing and profit.)

I posted this picture to Anderson Cooper with a message that this was a Before and After MMR photo. To LOOK into my sons eyes. I get this reply:

Here is the photo I posted, you’ve seen it before:

Ok, twatrocket, let me explain something to you… 1. I know my kid is beautiful. He has my genes. I’m fucking smoking hot. Thanks. But, since you are not being sincere and mean this as a troll, I shall explain some more.

2. If you can’t see the OBVIOUS neurological deficits in this picture, let me break it down for you –as a portrait photographer (Yes, I’ve done every job at least once.) Every kid can have a bad day. But I could always get a kid to smile. Even my toughest customers. I once did a hand stand while making ape noises to get a kid to smile.
That picture on the left is my son at 15 months. He was an easy smile’r.  A couple days after that first photo he got his MMR and DTaP, we injected him with neurotoxins. The second photo was taken at 18 months of age. We worked hard just to get him to look at the camera. Just to look at us. He was more interested in that block in his hand. The block he kept flipping over and over and staring at. Hand stand, ape noises… Cookies as bribes… lots of tears. And that blank stare was the best one we got.

I looked over a lot of my snap shots from this time period. Before and After. Before? Lots of happy smiles and eye contact with the camera. AFTER? ALWAYS. ALWAYS the same fucking pose. The thumb in his mouth –he’d hook his thumb behind his front teeth to put pressure on the roof of his mouth. He wasn’t actually sucking his thumb. It’s a soothing pressure point. And he’d rub his nose with his finger. Again, soothing. Instinctual. At 18 he still does it. Often when we are out in public and the sensory stimulation is too much.

I put together a little collage last night:

Yes, his downward spiral began with the Hep B at birth. But he was still THERE. He still had language.  He’d still look you in the eye and smile, respond to you. But for a couple months after his 15 month shots, that bottom row… All the photos of him look the same. That is not an energetic, happy toddler. That is a sick child. Lacking energy, lacking language, lacking any sort of connection to his environment. That is a child suffering from an acute insult to his body and brain. Line this up with his MTHFR gene mutations and it all makes perfect sense. Google it trolls, I am not doing any more fucking homework for you.

I have videos too. They are too hard to watch. Before and After. Maybe someday.


I am college educated with a genius IQ (just bragging). I am not an idiot. (Don’t let my typo’s fool you). But they duped me. They did. [Yes, I know typo’s is a typo. It’s funny. Trust me.]

I am one of the most skeptical people in the world. Yet, I can admit, I was once brain washed by the Church of Science. I believed what Doctors told me, because they went to school after all. I was you–the mere “Useful Idiot Troll”. I believed that the CDC and FDA really did work for the people. But then I decided to read for myself instead of believing what authority figures told me. Guess what? They work for profit, not for the people. Vaccines do injure. More than the 1-in-a-million that they love to throw at you. It’s biologically plausible and probable. It’s OK that you were duped. It happens. Please read a book or two on your own. Now, if you are a troll-for-hire getting paid to do this… well… I refer you to the first photo in this post.

If you are waiting for the mainstream media to cover this, like one person told me, then you really have no idea how this world works. Hint: Money.

The information is out there for you. Just waiting to be read. You DON’T need some pretty face behind a news desk to tell you what to believe.

Take a LOLZ break. Image from the hilarious Liam Scheff. You can also find him on FaceBook here.


For those of you who look at a photo of my child and tell me “what’s what” –tell me that I don’t know what happened to my own child. Even though MEDICAL doctors have since looked over his records and told me that YES, he most likely DID suffer encephalitis with his first Hep B. Those of you who STILL want to tell me that you know my child better than I do, better than his doctors do:

And the rest of you…
–‘Vaccines don’t cause Autism, they took the mercury out of the MMR! And besides Dr. Wakefield lied!’

–‘Vaccines don’t cause autism, they studied that and they are safe.’

HINT: The current vaccine schedule has NEVER been tested.

And as a general ‘last word’ to any other fucking stupid thing you manage to say… (I actually saw one write, “If this proves to be true, those crazy anti-vaxxers will have to admit that this study means it only related to an increase in black boys and not everyone.” *facepalm* DO THEY LISTEN TO THEMSELVES??) Anyway, in general:



The Time is NOW.

Last night, well past midnight, a friend alerted me to the new version of the CDC Whistler Blower videos that now clearly stated the name of the whistle blower as William Thompson Ph.D. YouTube version here.

And by this morning the Autism Media Channel website was down and there were rumblings of Wakefield releasing the videos/name early without permission.

My thoughts? Who cares. We needed his name. Everyone from media to my own friends were hesitant to believe this until the name was out there and the whistle blower came forward himself. We needed his name. Too, the CDC already knew who it was. It wasn’t hard to figure out –there were only 4-5 people on that paper and we know it sure as hell wasn’t Coleen. He also came out to say that he got in trouble for emailing Julie Gerberding, encouraging her to come clean.  The CDC WOULD KNOW WHO IT WAS. And sure enough, they did. He was escorted from the building yesterday before his name came out.

Can we for once, as an autism community, FOCUS. This is about the kids. Leave the petty shit behind today and in the upcoming days. Let’s follow this story. Keep posting it all over social media. Use the tag #CDCWhistleBlower I am also loving #CDCPantsOnFire Use both –get this trending. Facebook, Twitter Instagram… whatever the kids are into these days! 😉 Start posting it to your local media. Let’s remind Anderson Cooper to “Keep ’em Honest” GO GO GO!

Here is an iReport on CNN. 1. GO…. sign up for an account. Click the button that reads “This belongs on CNN.”  WE. CAN. DO. THIS. [UPDATE: enough trolls reported this as inappropriate and it was taken down. It had over 35K views and 13K shares when I checked it before bed. Stay tuned for our next plan of action… for now I guess keep calling the CDC]
Second Update: NEW iReport... go click “This belongs on CNN” Share it. Tweet it. Until they take it down…
2. Here is another great idea stolen off Kim Spencer’s page 🙂 “Call Rep. Posey’s office! Ask what he is going to do about this admission of CDC fraud!!! 321-632-1776” NOW NOW NOW. [UPDATE: Sen Posey is drafting a Press Release at this very moment!!!]
3. From Jill Rubolino:
“Call the CDC….press the option for immunizations, ask them about the new info.
800-CDC-INFO (800-232-4636)”
–The CDC is giving out their canned “MMR doesn’t cause Autism” bullshit. PRESS THEM. Ask them specifically about the Fraud allegations.

‘Rise up and take the power back
It’s time the fat cats had a heart attack
You know that their time’s coming to an end
We have to unify and watch our flag ascend’