The past week has been a bit of an emotional roller coaster –if there is anything the past two decades have taught me, it’s ‘stay jaded’. I can’t tell you how many times we’ve had a smoking gun in our hands and yet, remained ignored and silenced. So many, “They can’t ignore this now!” moments, followed by *crickets*.
You’d think by now the news of Robert Kennedy Jr being picked to head a vaccine safety commission would cause me to be all, “Meh. Sure. Whatever.” But, I’m more like, “Fuck Yeah! SUCK IT. You’re allllll going DOWN!” –Apparently there is a gene for this. According to my raw DNA run through Promethease, I have the “I get knocked down, but I get up again.” gene *shrugs*.
But I also have the Warrior Gene and COMT so… flip this for me and you got it.
So the optimism is there… a shift in energy. I either feel it or I’m willing it. This is our year. Here’s to hoping I don’t get knocked down again.
And while I should feel mostly happy and warm and fuzzy at the thought of the public being forced to accept the truth, there is a huge part of me that is so damn angry. Angry at everyone who’s dismissed us the past two decades. Serious hate and disgust. It should never take two decades to finally listen when thousands and thousands and thousands of parents are telling the same story.
Two decades of dead and severely damaged children. I’m angry. Crimes were committed.
When Gavin was at Children’s in Pgh to get his ‘official dx’ sometime back in 1998, I was telling the team all about his fevers, constant ear infection, antibiotics, reflux… you know, the same story ALL of us had back in the 90’s when the main cause of autism was mercury, with a dash of Hep B encephalitis, and a side of MMR. They sat me down and did the “Now, now… we don’t know what causes autism but it was nothing you did.”
Fuck what now? Um, yeah. No shit. What part of my detailed medical history givin’ gave you the impression that I need validation? EVERY PARENT HAS THE SAME STORY. LISTEN TO US. I’m telling YOU because it’s YOUR JOB to figure it out. I learned my first lesson that day…
I have no idea what my reaction will be when the time comes… in my head it’s a 24 hour “I fucking told you so!” marathon on Facebook Live and some coke snorting off a hookers ass, because lord knows I deserve it 😉 But I know me, and I won’t feel like celebrating. I’ll still be angry. Because there is a baby who got autism from the MMR in the time it took me to write this post. Probably 10 babies. I don’t math.
Two decades of parents scratching and clawing up a hill while our enemies kept stomping on our fingers. And mad props to those ones who kept at it, because I dropped out a long time ago. I rant here and there but that is all I have in me. I’m thankful for the ones with the resources to keep going. I’m thankful for the ones who are all ‘peace, love and light’ because I’m still stuck in ‘go fuck yourself’ mode. But it takes all kinds 🙂
Cheers, warriors –the first day of the rest of our lives is just around the corner. The “Before & After” point to this story. I hope.
I know I’ve been quite MIA, but brain fog and exhaustion kinda rule my world these days. I have forced myself to sit in front of the computer today to bring you this post. I’m tired of rolling my eyes in reply to the issue I’m going to discuss, without having the energy to put the sentiment in a comment. So here is my reply.
The issue: Just how dumb us autism families are who voted for Trump.
‘God bless our tiny pinheads’ according to the internet and some of my very own friends. ‘SMH, how can they be so dumb, and they are living it!’ Articles float around from every major news source about just how awful Trump is going to be for us (Which, is actually Main Stream Media code for “Trump is going to be so awful for our pharma ad revenues” –because, really, main stream media didn’t give a damn about us before Trump, and they seriously do not give a damn now).
Here’s the thing… just how great did Obama make my life? Over his 8 years I saw services cut left and right. I saw a man enter the Presidency who was cautious about vaccines, who later backtracked with his condescending “Look,” (grrr I hate that) ‘trust the CDC, get the vaccines.’ Our lives didn’t get better under Obama. Things are actually worse for ME and MY SON. Obama did nothing for autism. No help. No help for adults. No plan for the oncoming tsunami of adults who need 24/7 care. No real effort to end the crisis. Nothing. He ignored the CDC Whistle Blower, he turned a blind eye. He is complicit in this mess.
Yes, I voted for Trump. A decision I made last minute. I was aware that Trump knew vaccines caused autism, but he hadn’t spoken of any plans to do anything about it. There was my hesitation. Up until a week before the election I was still the idiot bashing my Trump voting friends, just like some in the community continue to do. But Levi Quackenboss published a blog post a few days before the election that changed my mind. Levi told us of meetings between Trump & Wakefield. I trust Levi. It changed my mind.
Maybe Trump’s cuts in office will affect middle and upper class America. But, hate to be telling you how voting works, I didn’t think twice about them when I voted. I voted for me. I voted for my son. Our lives truly cannot get any worse. If they did it would mean that I am homeless and at that point with nothing to lose, I would camp out in front of my state capitol building.
Our country is on the track toward collapse, however –we simply cannot pay for the damage done to two generations of kids at this point. Maybe I’d shed a tear for the middle and upper classes a little bit if the vast majority had listened to me and my tribe for the past two decades as we shouted from the rooftops, “VACCINES ARE CAUSING AUTISM!” “Injecting BABIES with MERCURY is STUPID!” We tried to warn you. The chickens are comin’ home, my dear tens of tens of readers. 😉
So, there I was with a choice between the candidate who was a status-quo-pharma-ho and the one who doesn’t give a shit what you think, beholden to no one but his own ego*, and knows that vaccines cause autism. There was really no contest. (*I say that with love in my heart. No judgement.)
Kennedy knows, and has the science to prove that vaccines caused my son’s autism (you all have the science too, just read it). He speaks of justice. To me, justice is compensation. Kennedy knows that the NVICP is useless. Kennedy knows that my son deserves justice for his brain damage, and that the people responsible need to face the consequences. That is WHY I voted for Trump. He’s done MORE for ‘autism’ (and the viability of this nation going forward) this past week than any president before him. And if you don’t think this is a ‘viability of a nation’ issue, then you haven’t been paying attention.
Oh, I know what some of you are thinking, “Silly girl, vaccines don’t cause autism, there is no study that links it! Bless your little pinhead!” To that I say… *eye roll* If you still say that… If you still believe there is no link, then hear this well, your ignorance is embarrassing. There is no excuse in 2017 to not know the facts.
Yes, I am living it. Yes, I voted for Trump, with good reason, and I am not sorry. And I’m not stupid. And I’m not a hillbilly. And I’m not racist. All things I ignorantly and emotionally said about Trump voters just a couple months ago. And you voted for Clinton, or Gary or Mickey Mouse, or no one. It was your right, it was my right. If we learn anything from this election, let it be that we need to work with our differences. And judging someone, calling them foolish, because they didn’t vote with YOUR best interests in mind, is pretty douchey.
Here is the fun part. I’m going to start a “Trump-o-meter” a… “Trumpstruction Report” um… a “Has Trump made my life better or worse” tally…. As you can see, I can’t settle on a name for it yet, but whatever we decide to call it (ideas?), it will run for Trump’s 4 years and it will document if having Trump in office has made our lives with autism better or worse. And I will be honest, because this is my brain-damaged, life-robbed, son we’re talking about. So far, we’re up. He’s not even in office yet and I have a promise a vaccine safety commission, led by a brilliant man who has the proof that vaccines cause autism.
So watch for that page coming soon to the website.
Yes, I am living it. I’ve been living it for 18 years and 11 months. I’ve been ignored. Marginalized. Called crazy, desperate, anti-science (oh, the fucking irony!). A lost cause. Now my team is up and the rest of you are just going to have to brace yourselves to accept the reality you’ve been denying for decades.
Fun Fact: Jimmy Stewart had mercury dropped directly onto his vocal cords for his ‘worn out’ voice in this filibuster scene.
As always, gold stars to those who point out my typos.
This meme recently caught a second wind over on my old facebook page, Autism Wars. People are sharing it. Good. I hope it makes some think.
Here is the story behind the moment the sentence “Vaccines are the leading cause of coincidence in the United States.” popped into my head. I was reading “Unraveling the Mystery of Autism and Pervasive Developmental Disorder” by Karen Seroussi, and she mentions how “fish” was her son’s last word, because there was an aquarium in the waiting room at the doctors office when she took him for his MMR. I about fell off my chair. Me Too. Gavin Too. “ishies” was his last word… because there was an aquarium in the waiting room at the doctors office when I took him for his MMR. I wondered how many moms had that same story.
I laughed to myself when I pictured the medical community saying, “Tapping on fish tanks and saying “Fish”” is linked to autism! Get rid of your fish tanks!!
I thought about all the other “coincidences” that all our kids have in common. The ear infections, the gut trouble, the eczema, the timing of the regression… All, ‘coincidentally’ following vaccines. And there it was… vaccines! Vaccines are to blame for the epidemic rise in coincidence in this country!
Insert: *eye roll*
You know, true scientific method doesn’t ignore even the smallest of coincidence. It studies it. Our CDC did study it… and they found that MMR vaccine was linked to an increase in Autism in black boys and individuals with isolated autism (which, is pretty much all our kids). And then they reworked those numbers to make it go away. Don’t believe me? Go see Vaxxed.
Don’t stay misinformed. You don’t have to. Fish tanks in doctors offices don’t cause autism. Vaccines can, however, and vaccines do. You have to look at what is biologically plausible. You have to understand that autism isn’t a “thing” in and of itself. It’s a label slapped on a box that holds a list of symptoms. What causes all those symptoms? Start here, 124 studies that support the vaccine/autism connection.
People need to stop judging others. This supposed massive welfare fraud isn’t real. It’s smoke and mirrors, people. What about corporate welfare? And fraudulent, excessive defense spending? Get your heads out of the sand.
Today’s rant brought to you by this post, which is great.
And this post which is shit… wait… never mind… I’m not even going to link to it and give them views. And get past my rant because I suggest a solution at the end.
I got my first job at 14. I joined the Army after High School. I worked two jobs for a while in College (UPS and X-ray tech). I worked. Sales on the side. I worked. Any gig I could get. Photography, retail, etc. And then life with a vaccine injured child got to be too much and now I can’t work. So we get food stamps. And I refuse to feed my child shit just because of it. I buy organic. I buy grassfed meats. It’s a supplemental program anyway. Food stamps are not supposed to buy everything, so consider the extra money we throw in to be covering the “luxury” markup that makes you unable to sleep at night.
And I am tired of that clown at Natural News bitching about people who buy junk with food stamps and then bitching about people who buy omega 3 rich seafood with food stamps. What does HE find suitable to feed MY family?
Rice, beans and cheese? Guess what asshat, we’re paleo/keto. Gluten, soy, dairy free. etc. We can’t eat that shit. Legumes are a no go. Starches make me sick. The majority of people on foodstamps are the eldery and the disabled and are white… so please Mr. “Health Ranger” –just shut the fuck up. Go back to fighting the real fights in the world.
I coupon –it means that a lot of the time I pay NOTHING for our daily needs like toilet paper, pet supplies, soaps, etc. And I often MAKE a little MONEY couponing. So I have no moral issue with throwing a “luxury” food in my cart on occasion. When my barely verbal vaccine injured son asks for some shrimp or a steak, if I can swing it that week in the budget, you bet your ass I’m buying it.
Let’s make food stamps a point system to give incentives to buy healthier foods. Instead of the avg person getting $29 a week, they get 29 “points”
1. Soda, chips, cookies, cakes, candy, total shit food: 2 points per dollar. This inflates the cost of that crap and makes people less likely to spend on it.
2. Prepackaged foods: 1.5 points –example mac and cheese, hotpockets (still, total shit food, IMO).
3. Meats, cheese, dairy, rice, beans, flours, sugar, oil (baking ingredients): 1 point.
4 Veggies, Fruit: 0.5 points
Autism is Neurological Damage. Let that cross your blood brain barrier and sink in.
What do you think neurological damage should look like? I know I sound like a broken record, but the average person cannot begin to understand that vaccines might be causing autism, until they fully understand what autism is.
We have a bad track record in this country –and I suppose the world, when it comes to chalking up things we don’t understand to mythical powers or medical mysteries. One example, for most of history, epilepsy was seen as something divine –until we figured out it’s neurological.
Today the entire field of psychiatry fits into this box. If we can’t see the obvious medical connection we tell the patient that the problem is all in their head.
Autism got tossed into the psychiatry box. The first theory to be accepted by medical professionals was that it stemmed from bad parenting –mainly a cold “refrigerator” mother. Luckily, Dr. Bernie Rimland came along –his son was autistic and he knew damn well his wife was a great mother. Bernie changed that mistaken theory –we suddenly realized that autism was neurological.
But from there, “professionals” chalked it up to kids being differently wired. That never sat right with me. The brain is amazingly plastic. If they were differently wired they’d still be functional –and I wasn’t seeing “functional” in my own son and the children of others. I saw tics and odd body postures and disordered speech and language –I saw brain damage. Also, we noticed that changing the diet and giving certain supplements helped or even made some kids lose their diagnosis. This wasn’t ‘hard wiring’ –this was medical, metabolic.
It was 2000 when I finally started listening to my new friends about vaccines. I didn’t understand how a vaccine could cause a brain disorder. My lack of comprehension was directly related to my lack of knowledge. First off, I had no clue what was in vaccine. I had NOT ONE CLUE that there was mercury, polysorbate 80, formaldehyde, aluminum, human DNA, chicken DNA, etc. I had no idea that our immune system is in our gut. I had no idea that damaged guts can lose that tight juncture in their cells and ‘leak’ proteins out into the blood stream where they should never be. I had no idea that these proteins could slip past the blood brain barrier. I had no idea that the mercury could cross the BBB. I had no idea that there were kids with MTHFR and other genetic mutations that would make them more susceptible to damage –who couldn’t detox those heavy metals as well as other children. The more I read, the more it became obvious that vaccines causing brain damage that presents as “autism” is biologically plausible. I admit to being ignorant.
I know that some of you still are. That you sit back and listen to the news anchors on the TV tell you what was found in the latest study –and you with your lack of medical knowledge and lack of knowledge about the politics of this all, and the history of vaccines, you take it at face value. Why would they lie? They lie because either they are ignorant, too –or because their fat paychecks depend on it.
But back to autism. How can you not see that autism is brain damage? Autism isn’t a thing in and of itself. Time to sound like a broken record again… Autism is a label that is slapped on a box, and in that box is a pile of symptoms, and if you have enough of those symptoms you win the diagnosis. There is no such thing as “Autism” –it is a classification system, a label.
So let’s look at autism…
By looking at other neurological disorders and diseases and injuries.
I remember 2000, when I still needed a little more convincing. That is when a friend sent me a link to a video, a video showing children who were exposed to mercury in Minamata Japan. (If you are unfamiliar, Google is your friend) –and what caught my eye right away was how similar a lot of the body postures were in those mercury poisoned in Minamata and our “autistics”. Mercury damages the brain. Autism is brain damage. Now, a lot of people died in Minamata, some were severely affected… some slightly. And those slightly affected all looked like autistic kids to me. In the following video at minute two… if you didn’t know this was a Minamata video, you’d think it was an autism video. I suggest you check out all the videos on youtube concerning Minamata “Disease”
This is a great one too:
So, Minamata popped back into my head last night while I was rewatching “Silent Epidemic, The Untold Story of Vaccines” you really need to watch the whole thing. But check out the montage at minute 16:55 –that is what neurological damage looks like. And that is called “autism”.
Now let me say, I don’t agree that vaccines are the only thing that’s changed in the last 25 years –they are the major player and biggest culprit, yes. But we also don’t eat real food anymore and the food we eat is mostly poisoned and nutritionally void or genetically altered. We are dealing with thousands upon thousands of chemicals in our environment that were never tested for long term safety. Babies today are born with hundreds of chemicals in their cord blood… BUT… If we are willing to admit that there is an environmental trigger –that something we are eating, breathing or touching is causing this rise (and most scientists and doctors DO admit this) THEN WHY do we snap to attention when vaccines are mentioned, and toe the company line with a loud chorus of, “Oh, but we know it’s not the vaccines!” Injecting chemicals into the body is much worse than eating, breathing or touching. We don’t “know it’s not the vaccines” because the proper studies HAVE NOT BEEN DONE.
Autism is brain damage.
Here, at 4:35 is a child with an auto-immune encephalitis… brain damage… it looks like autism:
Here is a child with cerebral palsy, it looks like autism.
These kids with TBI have “features of autism”
Brain Injury from a drug overdose, looks like autism
Look at the poor motor planning in an apraxia patient after a stroke. I was told in my speech path classes that apraxia/dyspraxia
is more common in kids now, but it’s controversial because in adults it follows a brain injury and in kids there is NO BRAIN INJURY. Says who? Vaccines cause brain injury. The adult:
Vaccines are known to cause brain injuries.
Why do you deny that some of us watched our children regress into brain injury right after receiving vaccines that have possible brain injury as a known AND COMPENSATABLE side effect? Compensatable through the NVICP which has paid out over $3billion in damages to vaccine injured…
–all because you do not understand what autism is.
–what ALL this is.
Set aside the debate for a few minutes now and really think about what is happening to generations of children. Just think about it.
Here is some kids dissertation on Minamata, check it out, it’s well worth the 13 minutes.
Also… the old argument back in the day was methyl vs. ethyl mercury. I am not even going to get into that. That is a whole other blog post… or book chapter… or book. You can google. Bottom line, they can cause the same damage.
I say again, autism is brain damage. Vaccines can cause brain damage. Vaccines can cause autism.