Requiem for a teacher.

[Edit to add: In my desire for you to discover Liam on your own through his writing, I forgot that I did want to share about one story he broke. Celia Farber covers it in her post.]

Don’t let anybody say I didn’t love life enough, or something stupid like that….
It wouldn’t have been the case.
” –Liam Scheff.

I fear what I write will come across as self-indulgent.

Like how he encouraged me to write and claimed to enjoy my rambling, angry, good-grammar-lacking, misspelled, stream-of-consciousness drivel.

Like how every time he saw my face, he made it clear he liked what he saw. My observation? “You need glasses.”
“Why can’t you take a compliment?”
–I can take a compliment… but he needed glasses.

Like how the first time I saw a “Liam in Three” video I yelled, “OMG, it the male version of me!” –Only, that isn’t fair… he was way smarter, funnier, and prettier than me.  But at the core of it… the snark, the sarcasm, that brand of humor… I found a soul brother.

But, my friend is gone and I’m… pissed. Sad. Feeling sorry for myself… and the world. But, that is who he was to me.
I’m sorry if you never got a compliment you didn’t deserve from him, or got to have a private joke with him, or got talked off a ledge by him. He was truly 1 in 7.5 billion.
Sorry for your loss, world.

Liam had a million friends.
Yet still… if you needed him, he was there for you –like you were the only person in the world.

We had one fight. It was over something stupid –and early on in our friendship, I walked away.
But you can’t walk away from Liam. If you try the emails start.
He threw his famous line at me. “Friends don’t leave the conversation.” We never fought again.
He challenged and reshaped my ideas of true friendship and love and connection.

And now he’s gone.

Life is unfair. Who needs a lesson in that? Not you, not me…. But we have received that lesson again and again….
–Liam Scheff.

But he’s not completely gone.
He left us so much to read.
He left us videos.
I suggest reading every word he ever wrote. Lick up every last crumb. Start with his Goodbye. Read every post. Buy every book. You will not agree with every conclusion he came to, but he’ll make you think. I can tell you what an incredible person he was -but I think you’ll enjoy discovering that for yourself.

I do want to tell you how I plan to honor him…

We used to talk about the struggle between wanting to wake up the world and make people understand what we knew, vs. wanting to just focus on ourselves… hunker down, plant a garden, grow a local community and to hell with the rest of it.  He seemed way better at that balance than I was. Only once did I hear it in his voice –like maybe it wasn’t worth it. Personally, I spend too much time in that place… oscillating back and forth –making me unproductive.

Read his words and take his advice. Get into Permaculture.  Be able to grow your own food and find your own water because our current system will likely collapse before we do. Certainly before our children will. Give them the gift of knowing how to provide for themselves from their own backyards.

So I am… I’m signing off. I’ll be planting. And reading. I’m not going to waste my time and limited energy on people who don’t want to learn. I’ve said my piece. And to summarize it:
Vaccines cause autism. Plastics chemicals cause autism. Pesticides and GMOs cause autism. And SIDS. And the surge in auto-immune and inflammatory disorders. You don’t have to be sick. Your anxiety, your GI issues, your migraines, your inflammation… all have dietary causes and cures.

Don’t embrace your diagnosis. Ignore the Doctors and people who say it can’t be done, and seek out the people who are already doing it.

Get off of social media, talk to the real people in your life. If you don’t have any, go find some. Write letters not text messages. Plant a fucking garden.

If I come back it won’t be in this way. Sticking a fork in Jane.

I like to end my posts with a music video… and in honor of Liam’s goofy side I will share this with you. Because I need to laugh.
There is one conversation that sticks in my mind and brings me great joy. You have to understand how smart this man was and how he rarely went off on rants about things that weren’t important. But that day… he went off for a solid 20 minutes about what a horrible actor, singer, and person Mark Wahlberg is. I never laughed so hard, mainly because it was so out of character for Liam. You’d think Mark stole his best friend or cut in front of him in line at the DMV once…

Adieu my friend, champion, soul brother, and teacher.

Something about Autism or Vindiction or Rage, Titles are hard.

The past week has been a bit of an emotional roller coaster –if there is anything the past two decades have taught me, it’s ‘stay jaded’. I can’t tell you how many times we’ve had a smoking gun in our hands and yet, remained ignored and silenced. So many, “They can’t ignore this now!” moments, followed by *crickets*.

You’d think by now the news of Robert Kennedy Jr being picked to head a vaccine safety commission would cause me to be all, “Meh. Sure. Whatever.” But, I’m more like, “Fuck Yeah!  SUCK IT. You’re allllll going DOWN!” –Apparently there is a gene for this. According to my raw DNA run through Promethease, I have the “I get knocked down, but I get up again.” gene *shrugs*.

But I also have the Warrior Gene and COMT so… flip this for me and you got it.

Totally, mostly, ‘go fuck yourself’. –Stolen from the interwebs.

So the optimism is there… a shift in energy. I either feel it or I’m willing it. This is our year. Here’s to hoping I don’t get knocked down again.

And while I should feel mostly happy and warm and fuzzy at the thought of the public being forced to accept the truth, there is a huge part of me that is so damn angry. Angry at everyone who’s dismissed us the past two decades. Serious hate and disgust. It should never take two decades to finally listen when thousands and thousands and thousands of parents are telling the same story.

Two decades of dead and severely damaged children. I’m angry. Crimes were committed.

When Gavin was at Children’s in Pgh to get his ‘official dx’ sometime back in 1998, I was telling the team all about his fevers, constant ear infection, antibiotics, reflux… you know, the same story ALL of us had back in the 90’s when the main cause of autism was mercury, with a dash of Hep B encephalitis, and a side of MMR. They sat me down and did the “Now, now… we don’t know what causes autism but it was nothing you did.”

Fuck what now? Um, yeah. No shit. What part of my detailed medical history givin’ gave you the impression that I need validation? EVERY PARENT HAS THE SAME STORY. LISTEN TO US. I’m telling YOU because it’s YOUR JOB to figure it out. I learned my first lesson that day…

Medical Professionals Be Like…

I have no idea what my reaction will be when the time comes… in my head it’s a 24 hour “I fucking told you so!” marathon on Facebook Live and some coke snorting off a hookers ass, because lord knows I deserve it 😉  But I know me, and I won’t feel like celebrating. I’ll still be angry. Because there is a baby who got autism from the MMR in the time it took me to write this post. Probably 10 babies. I don’t math.

Two decades of parents scratching and clawing up a hill while our enemies kept stomping on our fingers. And mad props to those ones who kept at it, because I dropped out a long time ago. I rant here and there but that is all I have in me. I’m thankful for the ones with the resources to keep going. I’m thankful for the ones who are all ‘peace, love and light’ because I’m still stuck in ‘go fuck yourself’ mode. But it takes all kinds 🙂

Cheers, warriors –the first day of the rest of our lives is just around the corner. The “Before & After” point to this story. I hope.

Why I voted for Trump, and why you should get over it.

I know I’ve been quite MIA, but brain fog and exhaustion kinda rule my world these days. I have forced myself to sit in front of the computer today to bring you this post. I’m tired of rolling my eyes in reply to the issue I’m going to discuss, without having the energy to put the sentiment in a comment. So here is my reply.

The issue: Just how dumb us autism families are who voted for Trump.
‘God bless our tiny pinheads’ according to the internet and some of my very own friends. ‘SMH, how can they be so dumb, and they are living it!’  Articles float around from every major news source about just how awful Trump is going to be for us (Which, is actually Main Stream Media code for “Trump is going to be so awful for our pharma ad revenues” –because, really, main stream media didn’t give a damn about us before Trump, and they seriously do not give a damn now).

Here’s the thing… just how great did Obama make my life? Over his 8 years I saw services cut left and right. I saw a man enter the Presidency who was cautious about vaccines, who later backtracked with his condescending “Look,” (grrr I hate that) ‘trust the CDC, get the vaccines.’ Our lives didn’t get better under Obama. Things are actually worse for ME and MY SON. Obama did nothing for autism. No help. No help for adults. No plan for the oncoming tsunami of adults who need 24/7 care. No real effort to end the crisis. Nothing. He ignored the CDC Whistle Blower, he turned a blind eye. He is complicit in this mess.

Yes, I voted for Trump. A decision I made last minute. I was aware that Trump knew vaccines caused autism, but he hadn’t spoken of any plans to do anything about it. There was my hesitation. Up until a week before the election I was still the idiot bashing my Trump voting friends, just like some in the community continue to do. But Levi Quackenboss published a blog post a few days before the election that changed my mind. Levi told us of meetings between Trump & Wakefield. I trust Levi. It changed my mind.

Maybe Trump’s cuts in office will affect middle and upper class America. But, hate to be telling you how voting works, I didn’t think twice about them when I voted. I voted for me. I voted for my son. Our lives truly cannot get any worse. If they did it would mean that I am homeless and at that point with nothing to lose, I would camp out in front of my state capitol building.

Our country is on the track toward collapse, however –we simply cannot pay for the damage done to two generations of kids at this point. Maybe I’d shed a tear for the middle and upper classes a little bit if the vast majority had listened to me and my tribe for the past two decades as we shouted from the rooftops, “VACCINES ARE CAUSING AUTISM!” “Injecting BABIES with MERCURY is STUPID!” We tried to warn you. The chickens are comin’ home, my dear tens of tens of readers. 😉

So, there I was with a choice between the candidate who was a status-quo-pharma-ho and the one who doesn’t give a shit what you think, beholden to no one but his own ego*, and knows that vaccines cause autism.  There was really no contest. (*I say that with love in my heart. No judgement.)

And so far… my vote, has paid me back. President Elect Trump just appointed Robert Kennedy Jr to head up a vaccine safety commission.

Kennedy knows, and has the science to prove that vaccines caused my son’s autism (you all have the science too, just read it). He speaks of justice. To me, justice is compensation. Kennedy knows that the NVICP is useless. Kennedy knows that my son deserves justice for his brain damage, and that the people responsible need to face the consequences. That is WHY I voted for Trump. He’s done MORE for ‘autism’ (and the viability of this nation going forward) this past week than any president before him. And if you don’t think this is a ‘viability of a nation’ issue, then you haven’t been paying attention.

Oh, I know what some of you are thinking, “Silly girl, vaccines don’t cause autism, there is no study that links it! Bless your little pinhead!” To that I say… *eye roll* If you still say that… If you still believe there is no link, then hear this well, your ignorance is embarrassing. There is no excuse in 2017 to not know the facts.

Yes, I am living it. Yes, I voted for Trump, with good reason, and I am not sorry. And I’m not stupid. And I’m not a hillbilly. And I’m not racist. All things I ignorantly and emotionally said about Trump voters just a couple months ago. And you voted for Clinton, or Gary or Mickey Mouse, or no one. It was your right, it was my right. If we learn anything from this election, let it be that we need to work with our differences. And judging someone, calling them foolish, because they didn’t vote with YOUR best interests in mind, is pretty douchey.

Here is the fun part. I’m going to start a “Trump-o-meter” a… “Trumpstruction Report” um… a “Has Trump made my life better or worse” tally…. As you can see, I can’t settle on a name for it yet, but whatever we decide to call it (ideas?), it will run for Trump’s 4 years and it will document if having Trump in office has made our lives with autism better or worse. And I will be honest, because this is my brain-damaged, life-robbed, son we’re talking about. So far, we’re up. He’s not even in office yet and I have a promise a vaccine safety commission, led by a brilliant man who has the proof that vaccines cause autism.

So watch for that page coming soon to the website.

Yes, I am living it. I’ve been living it for 18 years and 11 months. I’ve been ignored. Marginalized. Called crazy, desperate, anti-science (oh, the fucking irony!). A lost cause. Now my team is up and the rest of you are just going to have to brace yourselves to accept the reality you’ve been denying for decades.

Fun Fact: Jimmy Stewart had mercury dropped directly onto his vocal cords for his ‘worn out’ voice in this filibuster scene.

As always, gold stars to those who point out my typos.

It’s not about guns.

Take away semi-automatic rifles and high capacity magazines and there can still be mass murder.

I gave myself ten minutes to come up with several ways to commit mass murder without a gun. It was easier than I imagined it would be. Scenarios involving: fire, home made bombs, cars, trains, poison, night clubs, hospitals, apt buildings, street festivals –all with legal items, or easy to obtain illegal items.

It’s not about guns. By the way, most handguns bought today are also “semi auto” and have high capacity mags. Take away the guns and people bent on mass murder can still pull it off. Sure, guns are easier, but the other ways are also easy.

We refuse to look at why people kill.
Happy, Healthy brains do not kill.

People on pharmaceuticals kill.
People with improper nutrition kill –this is a huge topic that I’m glossing over, but I’m talking about “metal illness”, cellular metabolic issues where people are seriously lacking in CRITICAL vitamins in their bodies that are needed for their brains to function properly.
We eat toxic food and drink toxic water and take toxic medicine and we are sick.

We are the fattest country (which is a toxin indicator), we take the MOST medication, we are the most medically neglected –and those who do seek “medicine” seek out the Western Medicine approach of symptom suppression. When will our leadership stand up and start talking about THAT?


Read about Linus Pauling, Abram Hoffer, Orthomolecular medicine and mental health. Read about the people who actually cured their sick brains with Vit C and Niacin. Not with psychotropic medications that actually have violence as a potential side effect.

As for the Second Amendment and all that “musket” talk… yes. Everyone had muskets back then… EVERY. ONE.
Match fire power for fire power. If the gov’t and police and criminals go back to muskets, then I’m cool with everyone having muskets. But until then I’ll keep my semi-auto guns with high capacity magazines.

What happened was horrible. I’m not trying to be cold.
But we are having the wrong conversation, and while gun crimes have gone down in countries that banned guns, those countries also are not as fucked up as we Americans are –raised on poison and hate –it’s all through our history. Put you flag down for a minute and take another look at history. When haven’t we been shitty to people who are different? It’s our sick culture and we have sick brains.

Have the right conversation or nothing will change.

Edit to add: I keep getting people saying, “Australia, Australia, Australia!” in my general direction.  Mass murders have not stopped in Australia. Snowtown Murders 12 bodies found in acid barrels, Childers Queensland Arson attack 15 dead, Churchhill Fire 10 dead, Lin Family murders 5 dead from being beat with a blunt instrument, Quaker Hill Nursing home fire 11 dead, Cairns Child killings 8 children stabbed to death –and that list doesn’t include the gun killings because YES, there have still been gun killings: Logan Shooting 3 dead, Hunt Family Murders 5 dead, Hectorville Seige 3 dead, Monash University Shooting 2 dead 5 injured.

Australia has 23.9 million people, the USA has almost ten times as many people. The USA has the highest prescription drugs use of any country, certainly more black box warning drugs where side effects are depression, suicide and all around murderous rage. I personally was rx’d a seizure med (Keppra) that made me want to kill people. It’s not about fucking guns for the love of all that is fucking holy. Stop comparing us to Australia unless you want to break down the numbers and do it right.

What stale hell is this? Chapman Study SUPPORTS autism as a disorder of toxicity.

Right before I went to bed last night, this little gem popped up in my news feed.

Spike In Autism Caused By Shift In Diagnosis. –Chapman Study.

It took five minutes of me skimming their findings to comment:

“Did it ever occur to them that less kids are being Dx’d with SLD because as toxic exposures increase, the kids with SLD who were likely something mild like a dyslexia kid, or ADHD, are now the kids with a more severe Dx. The shift in Dx is because the child is more severely affected.”

Anyone who spends a couple days looking into how the forward thinking Doctors, Practioners, and Parents of today are treating autism successfully, they will see what we’ve all come to learn –which is that autism is a disorder of toxic overload. Research supports it. Labs support it. Clinical outcomes supports it. The fact that my 19 year old son’s ATEC score dropped from 100 to 51 after 4 months of a detox protocol really supports it.
(Link to the first TMR study on the Ioncleanse by AMD here. My son was in the second study. The second study showed even more improvements for kids of all ages with a more frequent protocol.)

SLD very likely included the “Canary Kids” Simply put, there are kids more genetically susceptible to toxins.  Genes do not change drastically in 20 years, environmental exposure can –and has. With less exposures these were very likely the dyslexia kids. Dysgraphia, Reading Problems, Comprehension Issues, etc. (Offically “Includes disorders resulting in difficulties with listening, thinking, speaking, reading, writing, spelling, or doing mathematical calculations.”)

This study looks at the numbers in 2000 and how they’ve shifted since then. My son was born in 1996. The kids in school in 2000 in the SLD category were the kids BEFORE the addition of the birth dose of Hep B. They were the beginning of the wave of new “Autism”. There was already a category for Autism in 2000. I promise you, no one would have confused Autism for SLD, even in 2000. There is no way you’d look at my toe running, hand flapping, non-verbal kid and say, “Hm. Call it SLD, we don’t know what it is!”

This article references NeuroTribes and the idea that the change in the diagnosing criteria in 1987 is the reason for the shift. 1987 vs. 2000. Are you telling me that no one in the school system or medical community picked up the DSM-IV until 2000? The shift we are seeing in the numbers in the diagnostic categories for this study shows what happens when you take genetically susceptible kids and pile more and more toxins into their bodies and brains. Kids are WORSE. Yes, the same number of kids are affected, but the severity is the issue.

So, I’m going to ask you to consider that our DNA has not changed significantly but that toxic exposure HAS increased.
Consider that some kids are genetically susceptible.
Consider that the numbers shifted each year because as toxic exposure went up, kids tipped from having a less severe issue like “reading comprehension problems” to full blown “autism”.
Consider the implications. Whether you believe it is vaccines, plastics chemicals, GMOs or whatever… Consider it.

So, thank you Chapman! Your study supports what myself and many in the field have been screaming from the mountain tops –you just were not equipped with all the info when you interpreted your findings. Please go back and look at it again with this information.

Genetically susceptible kids exist. FIND THEM. Pretty please.

Also Read:
Is The Autism Epidemic Real by RFK Jr.


California’s Autism Increase Not Due To Better Counting. UC Davis, M.I.N.D. Institute (way more science-y than Chapman 😉 )

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